Diary of a Preggo Vegetarian

Our Birth Experience - Part Two

2011-03-02T00:23:00.000-08:00

***Warning Again: This blog contains my account of the birth of my twin boys. There will be words like vagina and cervix. If this makes you uncomfortable, feel free to read a different blog. ;-)

After an often interrupted night of sleep, my OB came to visit me around 7:30 am. My epidural was still in place and I was feeling good. I had noticed that feeling was returning in my leg and that I was feeling sensations like the nurse and doctor checking my cervix.

My OB said he was going to insert a foley balloon. What this basically means is that they insert a tube into your cervix (which was still only 2cm dialted) and inflate a bubble on the inside of your cervix. They they weight the other end and the weight pulls the balloon through your cervix causing the cervix to open.

My doctor was a regular McGuyver when it came to this procedure. He asked the nurses assisting him for two surgical masks. He then tore them apart using the ties for rope and tied two IV bags to the end of the tube and hung them off the end of my bed.

We were all talking and about five minutes later it popped out.

'Oh no!' I said.

"What?" replied my OB.

"It came out!?!"

"Oh good," he said. "It's done then."

"That was it??" I asked.

"That was it."

So now I was 5 cm just like that and could finally move to the bigger room where I would labor until it was time to push my beautiful little boys into the world.

My doctor told us he'd see us when his office hours were done this evening and hopefully Baby A would have moved on down (he was still at minus 2 station) and we could break my water and have some babies! Yeah!

We gathered all of our things and moved down the hall and around the corner to the labor and delivery room closest to the OR. This way when it was time to push it would be a quick trip to the OR to pop them out!

By this time it was just after noon and I was exhausted, but excited that in a few hours we would meet our little boys. I was so glad that our doctor was taking things so carefully, I felt confident that I would not be facing another c-section.

We got to know our day nurse very well as she too spent most of her time sitting next to us chasing my mischievous babies with the fetal monitors. On a few occasions throughout our labor they had been forced to bring in mobile ultrasound machines so they could find baby's heart and place the monitor exactly. Often times they would get the babies all set only to realize the way they were laying both monitors were picking up the same baby's heartbeat. At these times I had met two of the residents in Maternity and briefly been introduced.

We talked with our nurse, Amy, about our first delivery and our fears about a repeat emergency c-section. She explained to us that the reason we were waiting for our little boy to move down was that if the water broke before he did there was a chance of a prolapsed cord, meaning the cord made it into the birth canal before his head and with each contraction he would be cutting off his own blood supply and thus oxygen supply. She also said that they would probably be putting a sensor into my cervix soon to measure the pressure of the contractions since it was a VBAC just to make sure things weren't too intense in there.

I trusted my doctor wouldn't let anything happen and heaved yet another sigh of relief that we had found the doctor we had. I knew my babies and I were safe and that since it was a VBAC every precaution was being made.

Around one o'clock my nurse went on her lunch break and a nurse we hadn't met yet came in to cover. No big deal as we had already gone through a number of nurses. I was so tired, it had been almost 36 hours since we arrived at the hospital and I had gotten sleep in fits and starts.

Two of the residents I had met briefly on one or two occasions during those ultrasounds in the wee hours came in for the usual check, or so I thought.

They came in and checked me and told me they were going to break my water.

Whoa! What!?!?

The resident told me that she was going to break my water and insert a monitor into my baby's head but assured me it wouldn't hurt him.

Like hell she was!

I told her I did not want her to do that and as the other resident during their exam said Baby A was still at minus 2 station I knew that he had made absolutely no progress since we spoke to our doctor.

If I hadn't been so exhausted I would have asked to speak to my doctor immediately.

But here's what happened instead...

I burst into tears arguing that I was not okay with her sticking anything in my son's head whether she thought he could feel it or not. Startled by my tears she apologized and agreed to not put in the sensor but insisted she was going to break my water to 'get things moving'.

My husband and I both argued that the resident standing right next to her had just said that the baby was still minus 2.

She told me that she could feel his hair and that she was going to guide his head with her hand. I was so exhausted and so was my husband and I don't know how it happened but somehow she convinced us that she had it under control and she was right and we were wrong.

Yeah.

She broke my water, smiled and told me that the fluid was clear and that was a great sign and then she patted my knee and they left. As my nurse was coming back from her lunch.

Sigh.

I just wanted to cry, I felt completely railroaded and my husband was so furious at the same feeling that he was pacing like a trapped, rabid wolf. We told our nurse what had happened and she was surprised and tried to help comfort us. I suggested that my husband go take a walk and get something to eat. We still had a long way to go.

My Dad stayed with me while our nurse, Amy, began the fun job of tracking the imps on the monitors again. My husband kissed me and said he'd be right back.

Amy was talking with me as she watched the monitors and a minute or two after my husband left she asked me to turn to my left side after this contraction.

Ok.

When it was done I helped and we got my numb self flipped over. I asked what was up. She was very open with me, she said that Baby A's heart rate had dropped just a little on the last contraction and she was hoping this would help.

I tried not to hold my breath as I watched the monitor and saw that sure enough there had been a dip instead of rise during the last contraction. I stared as the next contraction started and my heart skipped a beat when his heart rate went down again.

My nurse leaned down to me and told me not to worry, that it sounded worse than it was but that she needed to have someone else come and take a look just to make sure everything was alright.

I nodded, stunned as she pushed the call button and requested an emergency team to my room. Suddenly, I heard an alarm sound down the halls and my room filled with people. Someone checking my temperature, someone checking my pitoncin, someone checking my pain meds for my epidural, someone putting an oxygen mask on me and someone checking my cervix.

Then I heard those horrible words.

"We have a prolapsed cord."

I tried not to panic, this couldn't be real, it had to be a mistake.

Then my nurse, Amy, who I trusted more than any other person at that hospital other than my OB right then, leaned over to me as I tried to breath and told me that this was very serious and we were going to the OR and delivering now.

I lost it

I went complete hysterical. It was happening again. That's all I could think, "It's happening again." The horror that we had spent all this time trying so desperately to avoid was here and I couldn't escape it. And my husband wasn't there.

In a matter of seconds I was disconnected from everything and my entire bed, including the nurse now on top of my bed with her arm inside me trying desperately to keep my baby off of his own cord, was being wheeled out of the room and all I could see was the ceiling and that horrible plastic tasting oxygen mask. I couldn't even see my father and I was crying so hard they kept telling me to calm down and breathe but no matter how hard I tried I just couldn't.

I have never been so terrified in my life and the one person with the power to bring me back down from my hysteria and make me believe it was all going to be okay was somewhere in the hospital getting lunch with no idea that I needed him...

** My husband and father filled me in on their experience after the fact. Here is a summary of their accounts.

My nurse turned to my Dad, as I was being wheeled out of the room, and told my Dad to get my husband up here now before handing my Dad scrubs so he could be with me if my husband couldn't get there in time.

My father called three times, but the reception was horrible and after two calls he was going to leave a message on the third. My husband answered this time and all my father said was "You need to get up here now!"

My husband ran to the elevators to find that everyone seemed to want to take the same one at the moment so he ran to the opposite end of that tower to the other elevators so he could get on one faster and get to me.

He skidded into the room, where he had left me tired and pregnant and fine not fifteen minutes before, to find my Dad very slowly putting on scrubs hoping he wouldn't have to go in my husband's place. He threw Hubbie into the scrubs and pointed down the hall with a, what could have been comical under other circumstances, "They went that way!"

My husband ran down the hall and around the corner to find...nothing. Not a person in sight.

He grabbed the first person to come around the corner and demanded to know where I was. The nurse peeked his head into the first OR and said, "Nope."

After taking five seconds, that felt like an hour, to look into a second OR (during which my husband barely fought the impulse to push past him and look for himself), he confirmed I was in there and sent him in.

Back to me...

In the meantime, I had been rolled down the hall and into an operating room that would have been chaotic if it wasn't so organized. There were probably twenty people in the room between the NICU team for the boys, the anesthesiologist, the nurses and the doctors. I wasn't even sure my OB was going to deliver me. I was in a room full of people and I had truly never felt so alone.

My doctor arrived, I felt a small wash of relief and was finally, with the anesthesiologist's help, calming down and breathing almost evenly, as he dove right in. By the time I registered that he was there they were beginning the surgery.

This managed to start me into hysterics again because my husband was going to miss the birth. In that moment I realized that I needed Amy and like an angel she appeared next to me and took my hand.

I started to cry again, or rather more, and felt so grateful that I had one friend in the room to hold my hand when she let go. I turned to see why and found myself looking into the most wonderful, and familiar, brown eyes. My husband had arrived.

As he kissed my forehead and told me it was all okay, that everything was gonna be fine, a cry rang out in the room. Our first son, Richard had been born. We barely had a moment to process when another cry reached our ears. Samuel had arrived!

We could see our beautiful boys as they carried them to the heating tables to check them out. They held them up so we could see them for a moment. They were so tiny and perfect.

Just a side note, my first birth was an emergency c-section as well, though not as hurried as this one. My daughter was a week late and fluids were low causing her to compress her cord. Wanting to have the safest delivery we were taken calmly to the OR and my husband was taken to a room to get dressed in scrubs before joining me. After she was born he went with her to the nursery while the surgery was completed and I was all stitched up.

Which means that he wasn't there for the part where my body reacted to the trauma of surgery and birth and medicines with body wracking shakes that were intense and uncontrollable.

Back to the present birth...

The boys had arrived and the adrenaline rush that came with the rush to the OR was beginning to wear off. I had been 'in labor' for over 35 hours from the start of our induction to the birth of our boys and I was exhausted.

One of the nurses checking out the babies asked who Baby A was, we told her that was Richard. As my husband said Richard his little hand shot up as if waving Hello to us for the first time. All we could see was this little arm sticking up from the table. She told us that he was just staring so intently at her, so alert from the moment she lay him there he had just watched her.

Samuel on the other hand, after his initial protest at being removed from his toasty warm jacuzzi, had fallen asleep. Good boy! He didn't even wake up with he was giving his Vit K shot. Poor baby, he was tired.

This was around the time that the shaking reached its peak and I was lying on the table, my entire body shaking almost violently and uncontrollably, as my eyes kept drifting as my exhaustion set in.

My husband held my hand tighter and looked more and more concerned. As my eyes drifted closed again he told me to open them. That I had to stay with him, that I couldn't leave him. He frantically called to the anesthesiologist wanting to know what was wrong.

The anesthesiologist came over and quickly told Hubbie that I was fine. My blood pressure was fine, I was doing great and he told me that if I wanted to close my eyes and rest it was okay. He assured my husband again and again that this was completely normal and I was just fine. I was so tired I finally closed my eyes, but I kept as tight a grip on my husband's hand as I could to reassure him.

My boys were healthy and pink so there were allowed to stay in the OR with me. As I had requested they did not leave my side. I wanted to have the chance to hold them and bond with them as soon as possible.

My husband, being curious stood to watch as they stitched me up.

My OB and the resident were talking as they stitched. He asked what had happened. Now that all the hurry was done and the boys were delivered he was ready for the download. She filled him in on her visit to me and then said, "And then I broke her water."

My OB's eyes shot up mid-stitch to the resident's face. "What do you mean you broke her water?"

Not wanting to continue the discussion there that was the end of it for then, but I was sad to realize that as I had feared the resident was not following my doctor's orders.

All stitched up and no place to go, I was waiting to be moved to post-op and my OB stopped by my head to kiss my forehead and tell me what a great job I'd done and how perfect they were. I knew then for sure that we were okay.

Once I was moved to the quiet room to rest after surgery, I was able to nurse each of my boys. Sammy ate and, of course, fell right back into a beautiful sleep. Richard ate and spent a minute or so studying Mommy before snuggling in next to his brother all swaddled up for a nap as well.

My Dad came into the room and we both teared up as he hugged me tight and I assured him that I was okay. That's twice my father had been forced to stand and watch me wheeled off to the OR for emergency surgery. I hate to think the scares my three kids will give me over the years.

This was my second and last birth experience. After the two traumatic arrivals, or rather three, of our children we feel that if we are meant to have more children, we will adopt them.

Thank you for joining us on this journey. I hope you enjoyed the experience, highs and lows alike, as much as we did. I also hope that you learned a thing or two.

If I could go back the one and only regret I truly have in my life thus far is that I didn't ask to speak with my doctor when they decided to break my water. I am grateful that that decision did not hurt my son and that God must have sent extra angels to watch over my children that day. For that I will always be grateful.

Richard (Baby A) and Samuel (Baby B)

My Birth Experience - Part One

2011-02-02T21:49:00.000-08:00

** Warning: This is my birth experience including as many details as I remember. If you have a weak tummy when it comes to needles and words like cervix or vagina, I recommend you read a different blog. ;-)

I know it's been almost three months since my boys were born, but this is the first chance I've had to sit down and write about their arrival. As you know I was very specific about how I wanted this birth to go, but also tried to keep an open mind since after an emergency c-section with my first birth I learned first hand how quickly plans can change.

So here is my second birth experience.

I was almost 38 weeks and my Doctor and I decided to go ahead and induce labor before my big healthy babies got too big. My doctor, who has a wonderful VBAC rate, assured me we would take things slow and be very careful so that I would have the most chance for a successful VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean).

At just past midnight the morning of Monday, November 8th we were admitted and taken to our first labor room where our goal was to reach 5 cm dilated so we could move to the bigger (and nicer, with a window even!) labor room just down the hall from the OR where we would be delivering regardless, just in case.

We were nervous but excited that we were finally going to meet these two amazing people growing inside of me. My nurse introduced herself and gave us the rundown. Then she got things going by attempting to start my IV and her attempt on my left arm didn't work because apparently she hit a valve. Instead of continuing to poke me, she went and got a fellow nurse to try to get my IV on the second try. She found a vein on my right arm, started to do her thing and then stopped and sighed as she apologized that apparently she blew out the vein. Which just meant that I was going to have an ugly bruise later and still needed an IV. A third nurse came in and promised to do her best to make the third time a charm and using my hand instead, she placed the catheter right in and my IV was finally in place.

So began the pitocin, nice and slow to be safe, and IV fluids to keep me hydrated now that I shouldn't eat, except italian ice, or drink, except ice chips, in case the labor (read drugs) made me nauseous.

By now it was around 2am and we were settled in for the long haul. I was still having trouble with my left hip as I had throughout my pregnancy and laying in the bed was making it worse. Walking probably wouldn't have helped, but even it if had it was pretty much out of the question as I was attached to fetal monitors at all times. I wish I could say I slept during those first wee hours, but since every time my nurse left the room one of the babies got mischievous and moved away from their monitor sending the machine into a panic LOL! our nurses got to know us very well. By 9am my babies were famous for their antics.

Every time I went to the bathroom I had to have help because my hip was hurting more and more. Walking on it hurt, lying down hurt. Nothing seemed to help.

My contractions were increasing to a steady rhythm with the help of the pitocin I was feeling them, uncomfortable at first and then moving to quite uncomfortable, but certainly tolerable.

My hip however was not.

With the IV making sure I was well hydrated I was getting up to pee every hour or so and with each trip walking became more and more difficult. My husband was helping me out of bed to take the five minute walk the five feet from the bed each time and he could tell I was struggling more and more.

By the time early afternoon arrived I was having so much pain when I walked that I didn't care about the growing intensity of contractions. Those I could handle, but I thought this hip thing was going to be the end of me.

Finally, on what felt like my 30th trip to the bathroom about 12 hours into my induction I couldn't take it anymore. I had made it to the bathroom with my IV pole and gone pee, but was in tears at the thought of having to stand again, much less walk all the way back to my bed. I looked at my husband, tears starting to pour down my cheeks and told him I wanted an epidural.

This was my pain threshold. I had reached it in 12 hours and it had nothing to do with labor! Talk about plans changing.

My Dad was in town for the birth and had been keeping us company as my contractions increased, talking and joking, helping to encourage and distract. As soon as the anesthesiologist arrived he took a walk. I wished I could join him.

I had seen oodles of epidurals performed during my obsessive pregnant days watching every birth reality show on tv. I had even seen a woman fall asleep in the middle of hers. Which I actually did when I got my spinal block before my emergency c-section when my daughter was born. Weird.

All I could think about was how much my hip hurt and how much I wanted it to stop. I knew we were still at the beginning of this adventure and I was exhausted.

I knew exactly what they were doing and tried to pretend I didn't.

My husband stood in front of me, not a nurse. I don't think a dozen large and burly men could have removed him from that spot. He really was amazing.

This was nothing like I had imagined. It was so much...well worse. I can't think of a better word.

Being a learning hospital there were two people behind me. One was doing it while the other coached her through it. She didn't seem like this was her first rodeo, and two to make sure everything was going right sounded good to me.

When she finished putting the cold brown stuff, antiseptic, on my back and did the local it was just like I remembered last time. A slight bee sting and then a warm feeling. But then everything changed. When she put the needle into my back for the epidural I nearly had a panic attack sitting there.

The only way I can describe it is that it just felt wrong. Not that she was doing it wrong, but think about it. A needle being pushed into the space between your vertebrae along your spinal chord into the fluid surrounding it. There is nothing right about that.

I started to shake and panic. Tears were pouring down my face, I didn't know if I could keep it together.

Then my wonderful husband leaned his forehead again mine and coached me through it. He was amazing.

Once they were done, which seemed to be hours later, I was able to sit back and all the 'weirdness' that had caused the shaking and tears just went away, like waking up from a bad dream. I felt a little silly for crying and shaking, but they were very supportive. Epidural in place I soon was a very happy Mama to Be with a hip that I couldn't feel anymore.

At the end of the day I was still no more than 2 cm. Which is all the further I had gone with my daughter. My OB stopped by to check in and pick on me for looking so comfy when I was supposed to be in labor.

He said they were going to turn down, even off, the pitocin until the next morning and give me a break. He even said I could finally have some solid food. Yeah!

Since this was about 9 o'clock at night, the kitchen sent up what they had in the way of a quickly made veggie plate. Lots of veggies and fruit. I was in heaven. I didn't make it through much as my appetite was small after no real food in so many hours, but I did eat more than I thought I would as my wonderful husband fed me bite after bite. I was so tired, I probably wouldn't have eaten more than a few bites on my own. Lifting that fork just felt like so much work! LOL

We tried to sleep that night, with my epidural in place my hip was behaving, but we still spent most of the night getting to know our nurses as our night nurse then got the trouble babies on the floor who like to get chased by monitors at all hours. Already famous for staying in one place just long enough for the nurse to think she's got them before moving as soon as she gets down the hall and setting off alarms that bring her right back to us, our babies were making quite the impression and they weren't even born yet!

That was Day One, as it were, of our birth experience.

Stay tuned for Part Two of our birth experience!!!

37 Weeks and Counting...

2010-11-04T12:14:00.000-07:00

Here we are, the actual countdown has begun!

I went in on Tuesday, at exactly 37 weeks and had my first NST and fluid check this week.

Again, we got up at dawn so we could fight L.A. traffic and get in to our appointment on time. We went to Corner Bakery Cafe for a quick breakfast before my OB appointment. I got the same thing as before, an egg scramble panini (hold the bacon!). It's delicious. It's an egg scramble with tomatoes and avacado and cheese on sourdough bread. Yum!

I sat down and started eating my yummy sandwich. It was just as good as I remembered. Then about five bites in I bit into something I hadn't eaten in five years, but I knew what it was. Bacon. Eww. I opened my sandwich to look, it hadn't occurred to me to check. I had been ordering no bacon at this particular cafe for a couple years. I even checked the receipt when we got it to make sure it said no bacon.

Sure enough, diced up into small pieces all through my egg was bacon.

My stomach churned.

I caught the attention of the guy that range me up and told him there was bacon and I was a vegetarian which is why I asked for no bacon.

He apologized and immediately had them make me a new one. My appetite was gone. I ate about half of the new sandwich, after triple checking there was no bacon. Blech.

He came back and apologized again and told me he'd be happy to get me something from their baked goods for the inconvenience. Which I have to admit, I had been thinking that was the least he could do. But when I actually thought about what they had I knew that everything had icing or way too much sugar. Sigh.

We finished our food and headed to my OB where he pronounced that yet again I was still 0cm, but that my cervix was thinning out nicely. I asked what his protocol was for induction, because last time it started with cervidil and then pitocin and then a c-section.

He said just pitocin. Since my cervix was already thinning there was no need for anything like cervidil, just pitocin to get my contractions going to start opening up my cervix. Perfect. I'm not thrilled with it, because I know from experience the pitocin makes your contractions come on hard and fast, but the less medications the better.

I realized as we were talking the next time I saw him it would be to deliver my babies. Wow.

Things all set up and everything fine, off we went to our NST.

First they did the ultrasound, which didn't quite make sense to me. I had just eaten so they would get good movement from the boys for the NST portion, but oh well.

My technician came in, a woman I hadn't had before and she brought an intern. No worries. She explained to the girl and I what she was looking at and all that. She laughed at one point when she was looking at a pocked of fluid next to one of the boys' heads. "Look at that hair!" she exclaimed. What?!? You can see hair??? She showed me and sure enough, right next to that adorable little skull it looked like a tupee flapping in the wind. He had hair! Lots of it!

She pulled out the 3D want and tried to get face pictures. This time Baby B wasn't interested, but she did get one of Baby A. He's so cute. I don't know if it was the angle of the picture or reality, but he looked like he had Daddy's chin. Hmm. We'll see. I'm even more curious to meet them now that I've seen their adorable faces. Unfortunately, only I got to see his little face well because the printer was out of ink so she couldn't print me a picture. No matter, we'll get to see those handsome faces soon enough!

She also told me where the boys are positioned. I knew Baby A was head down, but I swear Baby B has had his feet in my ribs for the last week and a half so I asked her to check. She said he may be butt down, so his head and feet are by my ribs, but when she checked she found the boys head to head. They are both head down and had been playing footsy in my rib cage all morning. That made sense. :-)

The part where I get to be a mummy again went okay. It took FOREVER though. Baby B was no problem. He performed wonderfully. Baby A wasn't in a performing mood. LOL.

The point of a stress test is to see how well the baby handled accelerations. Once they establish a baseline of the baby's heartrate, they need to see it go up by 15 beats per minute for about 15 seconds and then come back down to the baseline.

Baby B moved around a few times giving her the accelerations she needed.

Baby A would start to go up and then change his mind and come back down. He wasn't going up enough, or staying up long enough for her to get the reading she needed. 40 minutes later the nurse was waiting until he was totally calm and then plying me with water and graham crackers and pushing on his head for 15 seconds trying to get enough of a response out of him to be done with the test.

Finally she decided to show the doctor and see what he said. I thought I was going to wet my pants I'd had so much water and the baby she kept pushing on was the baby on my bladder!

I hadn't met this particular doctor before, but I could hear him talking to the nurse in the hall. She came back and said everything was fine and I was done. LOL. The first thing I did was go straight to the bathroom!

This time I was actually getting tired of Soup Plantation as it had been our go to after appointments the entire pregnancy and I'd just had it a few days before. Then I remembered this great restaurant called Vegan Glory over on Beverly, less than a mile away, that a friend had turned us onto last year. We had only been once, but I had been craving their orange 'chicken' since. (soy of course, but still so good!) The batter is delicious and the pieces inside are good size. Though they are fried they are not greasy and the brown rice is puffy and steamed to perfection.

I was in heaven every bite! LOL

So now we have a crazy few days and then we get to meet our boys. My daughter is getting excited finally, because the babies have been a long time coming, especially in the mind of a three year old, and the time is finally almost here!

Everything is all lined up! My Dad is on his way here as I type to see our daughter and of course the boys, but as far as anyone in this house is concerned, especially my daughter, he's coming to see her. Then a day after he gets here, our daughter will FINALLY get to go for her sleepover at her godmama's house that she's been talking about for weeks if not months!

And while she's there, we get to welcome and meet our little boys. I can't wait.

We'll get to see them one more time when they check their fluids during the NST appointment and then the next time we see them they will be in our arms.

I can't wait!!!

36 weeks and counting...

2010-11-04T11:43:00.000-07:00

Okay all, we're so almost there. Today I'm 36 weeks and four days.

We had our crazy doctor day on Tuesday (36 weeks exactly) and it was quite the adventure.

In order to make a 9am appointment to start our run of appointments I had to get up at 6:30am and get in the shower. Which shouldn't be a problem, except I haven't been up before the sun since I got pregnant. So I got up before dawn and took a shower and got dressed. My husband was up a few minutes later and by the time he was dressed our daughter popped her head into the bathroom as he was putting in his contacts.

Even she looked like she wasn't sure about the hour, but if we were up she was going to be up! LOL

We got dressed and headed into Beverly Hills. We made it to the four block area where all the appointments were located and settled ourselves down at Corner Bakery Cafe for some breakfast. Yum!

First appointment of the day was our first NST (Non-Stress Test) at 9:00am, followed by our 36 week ultrasound at 10am. Then we had to be at my OB's office for our 36 week check up at noon. No worries right?

Ha.

I arrived on time for my first two appointments and after sitting for about half an hour was called back. My favorite nurse, whom I believe I've mentioned, was my nurse and she set me down and did my NST. Which meant she placed a listening device on each of the boys and another device that measures contractions and strapped them all to my tummy. Which means I looked like a mummy wrapped in pink and blue. Of course Baby A was cooperative so she settled his sensor and strapped it down, but Baby B was feeling wiggly so she pulled up a chair next to me and while we talked for about 20 minutes she chased him with the sensor around his side of my tummy as he kept rolling over playing hide and seek.

Once this was done it was down the hall to ultrasound so I could have my fluids checked to make sure there was plenty of fluid around each baby. This was also supposed to be my 36 week ultrasound so I was really looking forward to getting to see the boys and find out how big they were. I was betting close to six pounds each.

I settled into the chair and as the technician started slathering up my huge belly I asked if we were going to find out how big they were. He told me no. I was disappointed. He said he was simply going to check their fluid levels and the blood flow in their umbilical cords to make sure everything was as it should be.

He checked my levels and the boys, thankfully, had full jaccuzzis to swim in. No worries there, and the blood was pumping away through their umbilical cords. I even got to hear the 'heartbeat' sound of it pumping. Crazy.

He finished up his measuring and said, time for fun. He pulled out the 3D wand and tried to see if we could see their little faces. He managed to get a great view of Baby B's face and took a couple pictures for me. I was so excited! The only picture we had of his face before that was the scowl. (Remember, when his brother kicked him in the face right as she snapped the picture? LOL) Now I had a very clear picture of Baby B's face and I was amazed at how much he looks like his sister! The same little nose, mouth and chin. Gorgeous! We make some adorable babies if I do say so myself :-) Baby A had both arms in front of his face and was camera shy, but I wasn't too upset. After all I have three great pictures of him from just a few weeks ago.

As he left I asked if I needed to wait to see the doctor or if we were done. He said he'd check for me, but he didn't think I needed to wait.

I texted my husband to let him know I was done so he could head my way to pick me up so we could head to my OB's office. He had taken our daughter over to the Beverly Center and they had been trolling the mall and playing at FAO Swartz and the like for the last hour or two while I did all this.

I sat there for about five minutes wondering if he was coming back when my favorite nurse popped her head in and was very relieved to see me. She told me I couldn't leave, the doctor needed to see me first.

Okay. I knew everything was okay, I figured it was a formality.

Then my ultrasound technician came back into the room and looked just frazzled. He told me I wasn't done after all, that it was supposed to be a complete scan not just a fluid check. He set me back up in the chair and slather up my tummy once again.

He told me the particular doctor I was seeing that day generally just wanted fluid levels so he didn't know it should have been the full scan.

I quickly texted my husband hoping they hadn't left the mall. No luck. They had already left the parking garage and were on their way so they settled themselves in the deli on the first floor of the building and started in on some lunch while I looked at how big our boys were getting. I was amazed at how much they had grown.

When all was said and done he told me that Baby A was measuring in around 35 weeks and 3 days and Baby B was measuring in around 35 weeks and 5 days. Since I was exactly 36 weeks that day and they were twins he said they were doing great.

Baby A weighed in around 5lbs 14 oz and Baby B weighed in around 6lbs 4oz. A six ounce difference sounded great to me! Of course, that also meant there was roughly 12lbs of baby in my belly! Whew! No wonder!

The doctor came in about ten minutes later with an intern and asked if I minded if she joined us. At this point whatever would get me downstairs to food faster, I was in. Sure, I said. She slathered my belly for a third time and double checked the amount of fluid pockets for each baby and then told me to come back in three weeks.

I told her that didn't make since because I would be delivering in less than two. She said, no, I need to see you at 38 weeks. I told her that was in two weeks and I would be delivering. She told me I wasn't 36 weeks I was 35 weeks.

I couldn't believe she was arguing with me! I had been carrying the kids the whole time, I was 36 weeks. Finally after I told her she was wrong three time, I pointed out that they were measuring at 35ish weeks, but I was 36 weeks that day. She looked at the computer and realized that I was correct. She had been looking at where they measured, not where I actually was. Duh. I wasn't in love with this woman's bedside manner.

Then once I had her convinced I was 36 weeks and already scheduled for delivery, she turned to me and said, "Oh, so you already scheduled your c-section?"

"No, a VBAC." I said.

She turned to me with the most sour look of disapproval on her face.

"Who is your doctor she asked?"

At this point I didn't care what this woman thought beyond are my babies healthy. And I was so glad she wasn't delivering my babies because she wouldn't have given me a choice. I could tell, she'd have cut me open and taken them out whether I liked it or not.

So I smiled very sweetly and said, "Dr. Brock."

"Ah." was all she said.

I smiled twice as sweet and she moved on. LOL.

She told me that in her opinion these boys could come whenever now. They were both strong and healthy and big enough and old enough that any time worked for her. I laughed and told her it sounded good to me, but I didn't think they'd be leaving until we kicked them out.

So, finally we were done.

I went downstairs and grabbed a couple bites to tide me over because we had to rush to make my OB appointment now after all the hullabaloo. Since our daughter is allowed into the building there she got to come along and my husband too for my check up.

I managed my sample. Yeah! Didn't even make a mess this time LOL!

The nurse called me back and we made our usual stop at the scale. She kept going this time until she stopped at 175. Really? 175? Come on!

Sigh.

On to the exam room where she took my blood pressure and got me settled to see the doctor. He checked me and told me still no change. My cervix was thinning out, but still closed. Good news. Except for the part where they were six pounds each and I was ready to have them!

I gave him the update from the ultrasound. Baby A still head down (to which he did a little happy dance again) and about 6 lbs each. "That's what I like to hear!" he said.

Then he says, "Call me on Friday and we'll schedule your induction for the 8th."

Wow, really? Okay.

So now that we have finished our crazy run of appointments I'm starving! Off to Soup Plantation and I'm a happy preggo and by golly, I'm gonna eat like one even if I do already have an extra 50lbs or so on this poor little frame of mine. Good food! Happy tummy!

So Friday rolled around and I called the doctor's office, they told me he was in with a patient and he'd call me back. In between calling and waiting for a call back I was playing phone tag between my OB's office and the PDC (Prenatal Diagnosis Center) to make appointments for next week for my last two NSTs before the boys arrive.

My doctor calls me back late afternoon and says, "Time to schedule a birthday!" Then he said these words, "How does midnight sound?"

To which I replied, 'Wait, what?"

"How does midnight sound?" I thought he was joking.

"What time?"

He laughed and said, "Midnight."

"Oh, you're serious." I said. LOL.

He told me that the 'day' starts over at midnight so we would get full days in the hospital. I'm sure that our nurse would be our nurse for longer this way too.

Once I realized he was serious, I laughed, thanked him and said see you next week.

I called my husband and told him we had our induction scheduled. As we had both been expecting a time like 10am or 2pm, I shared my surprise.

He asked what time and I said, "Midnight."

"Wait, what?" my husband said.

LOL.

"That's what I said!"

Once I explained it like the doctor had we both gave a shrug over the phone and said, okay. Midnight it is.

Now that we know on Sunday night at midnight we get to go to the hospital and have babies, it's becoming less surreal. I'm finally feeling a little nervous.

I've been through a c-section I know what to expect. But, if I get the VBAC I want, that's a whole new ball game. I don't know how bad the contractions will be or what it will be like really. I'm just hoping it doesn't take more than a day to have them. :-/ I would love to actually have them on the 8th. That would give me about a 24 hour window from the time we check in and they start me on pitocin. I'd love to have babies by lunch, but we'll see.

The good news is that I feel comfortable, that I'm in good hands. My doctor has delivered many VBAC babies and many, many multiples.

Now I just can't wait to meet my boys!

35 weeks and counting...

2010-10-24T13:32:00.000-07:00

We made to to 35 weeks and 5 days and I am sooooo ready to have these babies!

This week has been productive in that we finally have all our ducks in a row. Oops, except tapes for the video camera. Have to do that tomorrow.

But other than that we're doing pretty good! We picked up the shelf extender for the kid's closet and now we essentially have two bars to hang clothes on so our daughter can reach all her hanging clothes on the bottom row and the boys can have the entire top rack for all their clothes.

Thanks to our little ones' rockin' godmama we now have a pack n play with twin bassinets to set up in our room so the boys are close the first couple months or so. Thanks to Nanna we also have the twin deluxe nursing pillow so we can hopefully start finding our rhythm as soon as they arrive and get some good eating habits established.

I have been utterly exhausted this week, and finally sleeping soundly at night. It is probably yet another growth spurt for these boys whom I realized should be weighing in around 6 lbs or just above at this point.

I generally don't need to do kick counts because with two in there they are very active. But nonetheless, I lay down after lunch each day and I rest my hand on my tummy and count away before flipping and counting again. I laid down as usual on Wednesday and had my ten within a couple minutes from Baby A. I flipped over on my left side and rested my hand on my tummy ready to count Baby B's activity.

I waited. And waited. And waited. Not only was I not getting my ten, the kid wasn't moving. I poked him a bit expecting to get the usual "MOM!" nudge back for disturbing him. Nothing.

I found his little noggin and pushed on it, which usually causes him to move in a big way. Who doesn't hate somebody poking them in the head.

Nothing.

I called my husband and asked him if I was being paranoid. He assured me that I had just eaten a large lunch and that the time window for counting the 10 kicks was 2 hours not 10 minutes. He said to give him some time and if he still didn't move in the next hour to call my doctor if I'm really worried.

At this point I was torn. I live 45 minutes from the hospital, in good traffic. Did I mention the hospital is in downtown L.A.? And my husband works 45 minutes from home, in good traffic. Again...L.A. people.

So if I call my doctor and he says, if you're worried come on it and we'll check things out, only to go through what it will take to get us all the way in to the doctor and be told he's fine. Go home and rest. I'm going to feel so guilty. I swear, if we lived down the street from the doctor/hospital I would be waddling over at least once a week just to have them check and tell me everything is ok.

So I called my sister and talked to her while I waited for him to move. Sure enough, about half an hour later 'sleeping beauty' began to stir. I could have cried I was so relieved. It may sound silly, but when all was said and done what I got out of it was at least I know Baby B is a heavy sleeper. That may come in handy once he arrives with a toddler in the house. LOL.

So here we are, two days away from our next checkup and last night I couldn't sleep and was perusing CNN.com and there I see "Celine Dion gives birth to twins". I'm not one to follow celebrities, but since Celine Dion announced that she was pregnant with twin boys around the time I announced I was pregnant with twin boys, and since she was checked into the hospital last week because her doctors were hoping to put off her delivery until the first week of November when she would be 37 weeks, which is exactly when I will be 37 weeks, I have kept up with news of her pregnancy.

Although I am happy her babies arrived safely, I was torn at the news. Part of me was jealous that she got to have her babies already and mine are still baking, but the rest of me couldn't help but think that her babies arrived around 5 to 5 1/2 lbs each and mine are probably tracking closer to 6lbs at this point. Which means that even if I only make it to the 37 weeks her doctor was trying to get her to, my babies would be bigger and hopefully not have to spend any time in the NICU, which hopefully her boys didn't have to do either.

So Tuesday is now my focus. I am so ready to have these babies that I could cry. My husband, the actor, is finishing the run of his current show tonight, which means I don't have to worry about going into labor while he's on stage in the next town. I have my next appointment on Tuesday and I'm seriously hoping to hear that we'll be delivering sooner rather than later.

I have a 9am non-stress test where they will monitor the boys heart rates and check the levels of amniotic fluid in the sacs, then at 10am I have my 36 week ultrasound where they will again verify the levels of fluid and measure everything to make sure their growth is on track and let us know about what they are weighing. Then I go to my regular OB appointment where they will check my blood pressure, for protein in my urine and then check my cervix and tell me if anything has changed. As of my last appointment I was at 0cm and 50% effaced.

I can't help but hope that between the three something will indicate it's time to have babies! The only drawback to not waiting until the 8th, which let's face it at two weeks away feels like an eternity, is that my father will not be here yet.

But the good news is that if the date gets moved up to sooner, but still gives us a couple days before their arrival he will have time to get here with that much warning.

So here we are, getting there. I'm exhausted and all I want to do is sleep until it's time to give birth, which I'm hoping is my body's way of preparing for labor soon.

I'll probably be back on here Tuesday or Wednesday with the latest update! Fingers crossed for good news and here's hoping in the meantime I don't make up for all the crying fits I didn't have this pregnancy and just cry until it's time to deliver because I am so done with being pregnant.

34 weeks and counting...

2010-10-17T20:32:00.000-07:00

Okay, so as I'm writing this I'm 34 weeks and five days.

Here's what you've missed since my last entry.

I continued to have random contractions here and there over the next few days and by the night before my next check up I was convinced that my doctor was going to check me and tell me I was in labor.

So while my DH was in the shower I climbed out of bed, after laying down most of the day feeling exhausted and stressed all day, and I packed a bag for my daughter so when the time comes she is ready to go with her godmama for a special girl's sleepover while the babies are being born. Then I packed a bag for the boys, which sounds simple, but turns out it's not.

I don't want Pampers on my babies and I know that is what the hospitals supply because they are popular and I'm sure there is some deal they made with the hospitals. But, they are not for me. So not only did I need to make sure I had at least one full package of the Earth's Best organic diapers I bought in the bag, but as I was going through their closet I realized I would probably want the swaddles, and not just one each but most likely two each so we had a backup. So all four swaddles went into the bag. Then I realized we lost the cute hat they gave her at the hospital and the boys would need extras so I grabbed three hats each. Then I thought about socks and how cold my feet get at the hospital so I packed at least two pairs of socks for each boy. When I went to get the socks, I saw the cute Pooh Bear booties they each have a pair of that match the hats I'd already packed, so into the bag those went.

As for clothes I knew that with their little umbilical cords healing t-shirts would be best under their swaddles, so I grabbed 2-3 of those for each boy. And two onesies. And two once piece outfits that zip or snap up so they would be comfortable.

I understand they are only probably going to be there for 2-4 days, but I wanted to make sure we had what we needed. So there, by the time I finished packing all of that and I'm sure a few more things into their diaper bag I was out of energy.

My bag would have to wait until the next morning when I could pack it before we headed to our afternoon appointment.

The morning didn't go like I planned and we were rushing to get out the door when I realized I had done too much when we were running errands that morning (translation: running my poor husband ragged making sure we had new toothbrushes and I had a loofa to pack for the hospital and my daughter had an extra toothpaste for her bag, you get the idea...) and now I was having trouble catching my breath. I had huffed my way up the steps to our apartment and was now wiped. I sat in the rocker to catch my breath and growled something about "fine, I just won't bring a bag for me!"

At which point my husband turned to me and told me he would pack it because if he didn't and we did wind up in labor I'd spend half my time upset that I didn't pack my bag. I love that man, he knows me too well. Did I mention I still don't know how he puts up with me. (Needless to say when our anniversary comes up in the Spring I'm stealing him away for a weekend just the two of us to try to make some of all this craziness that happens when I'm pregnant up to him ;-) )

So I caught my breath as I called out everything on the short list I had made, but not packed and he went all over our small apartment gathering up the things I felt I would need. A fluffy towel for a shower after the boys are born, since everybody says the ones at the hospital are small and rough, a pair of swim trunks for him in case I want to labor in the shower so he can join me, my very own pillow so I can be comfortable. You know, all the things I just HAD to have.

Halfway to the hospital of course I realize that the one thing I probably needed out of all my craziness, my special twins nursing pillow, was sitting by the changing table at home. Oh well. Sigh.

So we drop our daughter off with a friend almost an hour later than planned, head to the doctor feeling grateful his office called that morning to push our appt. back half an hour, and made our way through L.A. traffic all the while very aware that at least if the doctor admitted us we were just over 34 weeks and we wouldn't have to worry about getting through L.A. traffic with me in labor.

I was having what felt like contractions, Braxton or not, all morning so I pulled out my phone and when I felt the pressure and slight pain I looked at my clock. Whatever I was feeling was happening about every ten minutes on the way to the doctor. I was even more grateful my hubbie had packed my bag now.

I got to my appointment and we went right up, I even drank enough water that morning that it wasn't a challenge giving my urine sample. I thought for sure he would find that something in my pee indicated labor. Oh, and can I just say for anybody who has ever given a urine sample and not had to do it eight months pregnant consider yourself lucky. It's hard enough peeing in a cup when you can see it, but when your stomach is so big that you just have to 'hope' you make it in the cup and don't waste your entire 'sample' it's a whole different world. I felt like I chased that small stream trying to make sure I didn't miss and was so proud of the small sample I got together. Of course, I got it all over the cup, which then dripped on my pants as I put the lid back on the container.

I pulled up my pants and noticed two distinct wet marks and couldn't help but laugh to myself that now I knew how it felt to be a guy who forgot the follow up jiggle.

Oh well. On we went.

My name was called shortly after and it was the same nurse as the week before. She asked how I was doing and I told her I was exhausted and that I didn't know if I was having contractions but whatever I was feeling was about ten minutes apart on the way to the office.

Uh-oh, she said and weighed me in. I weighed in at a mere 168 1/2 lbs. Which I realized was almost exactly 50 lbs more than I weighed when I got pregnant with my daughter almost four years ago. Yikes. That is a lot of weight on this little frame.

The doctor came in and asked how I was and what questions I had. He said my blood pressure was good and things looked fine. When I mentioned the contractions I'd been feeling he said, he'd check but not to worry. It was too early to be anything too serious and that I would know when they were the real deal.

He checked me and told me, "You're fine. Cervix is still closed, 50% effaced. See you in two weeks."

Now that I knew I wasn't in labor I had no other questions. He laughed and told me to relax. Then he and the nurse left and I looked at my hubbie and wasn't sure if I wanted to laugh or cry. He was as relieved as I was and I'd nearly driven us both insane over the previous three or four hours.

Whew.

We grabbed a quick nibble in the cafe downstairs and headed down the way to the hospital for our tour of the maternity ward. By the time we parked and found the right spot we had just missed the start of the tour. We played a five minutes game of "they went that way!" with the nurses in the maternity ward as they one by one helped us chase down the tour.

We caught up at the first stop on the tour and found ourselves in one of the labor and delivery rooms. The tour went well, our questions were mostly answered. I was a little disappointed with a few of the answers, but I understood why at least those policies were in place. Since I'm delivering twins I'll be laboring in a labor room but delivering in an OR in case an emergency c-section is needed. I knew that, but was disappointed to find that I wouldn't be allowed to labor in the jacuzzi tub because they wouldn't be able to monitor the babies in the water. I had really been looking forward to using the warm water and jets to manage the pain of labor at least a little bit.

Our tour brought us by the nursery where it turned out there were four babies at the time. We stepped up to the window and got to peek at the little bundles. I was amazed at how small they seemed. Then I heard someone say the word twins. A couple family members were gathered around the next window getting their first look at twin baby girls that had just arrived in the last couple hours. My hubbie and I waited, almost patiently, and then peeked over their shoulders through the window and the most beautiful, tiny baby girl. We looked at each other and almost teared up with excitement. We knew that in a short time we would have two little bundles about that size of our very own, to count the toes and hold the hands of our little boys.

I think that is the moment when the idea of being pregnant with twins became the reality for us of babies coming our way. It was a beautiful moment to share with my Love.

We came home, unpacked all the hastily packed bags from the car and set them aside to repack correctly over the coming weekend once laundry was done and we had more selections for packing the bags for real.

A quick trip to the consignment shop left us feeling even more prepared as we stocked up our daughter on some jeans since Fall seems to have finally arrived in California and the child was coming out of the 2T pants she had. Now she has some comfy 3Ts that fit her little waist perfect! No more plumber bum for our little girl. LOL.

Not to mention I found cute matching (similar but different) outfits to pack in the boys' bag for the hospital and an additional Halo Sleep Swaddle which I picked up for $5.99. Which rocks, since we paid about $20 each for our other swaddles. Now the boys each have two and we have a fifth swaddle sleepsack in reserve. Such a good feeling.

Now the weekend has come to an end, the laundry is nearly done and I spent a good half hour tonight during dinner playing the "Am I In Labor?" game once again as Baby A stretched himself until he had what I think was his shoulder wedged into a nerve around my left hip and his feet buried painfully into my ribs, to the point that he was hitting a nerve in my ribs causing a back spasm. I couldn't wait to finish my food and come home so I could lay down and hopefully get him off the nerve so I could find out whether the pain I was feeling was baby or labor.

Luckily, once I got off my feet and stretched out, he moved and the pain is gone. No labor tonight. Which is good because I didn't really want to have a baby tonight. I'm still hoping for November.

As October creeps closer to Halloween and November approaches I will sit back and reflect on how I really feel about being induced on Nov. 8th.

For now, I'm just glad to have an end date in mind. As much as I want these two to bake more, I'm having a lot of trouble with the toll it is taking on this poor body. I am thankful that I have not had to deal with gestational diabetes, pre-eclampsia or swelling, but at the same time, there just isn't room in there anymore for two babies as big and strong and healthy as mine.

33 weeks and counting!

2010-10-07T10:50:00.000-07:00

Here we are, at 33 weeks and two days!

Not much to report. No doctor appointments or ultrasounds this week. Just a usual week of being pregnant. Whatever that means.

Well for me, here's what that means.

That means that yesterday morning I ate breakfast and then slept from 10:30am to 2:30pm while my daughter snuggled in bed with me and watched Scooby Doo on my laptop. Then last night I spent half and hour crying just because, before getting up, making dinner and taking a shower so I felt human again.

Then this morning I woke up after a really hard, good night's sleep where unlike every other night before it I only woke up twice instead of every hour on the hour to pee. Sure it probably means I'm a little dehydrated, but let me tell you I needed the sleep. So I woke up at nearly nine this morning and as I lay there waking up I got my first 'in bed' contraction.

I've had braxton hicks that once I lay down in bed go away, but this time I had them before I even left bed. I had one and thought that was weird. Then after what felt like just a couple minutes I felt another one.

I was in the middle of a third in about 10-15 minutes when my Hubbie came in to see if I was awake. I told him what I thought was going on and he laid down next to me and we stared at each other for the next fifteen minutes waiting to see if it would happen again.

Nothing happened, but we shared a nervous chuckle when we decided we'd waited long enough and whatever it was had passed.

As per the beginning of this blog, I am only 33 weeks. It's just not time. We still have about 4 1/2 weeks until our scheduled induction and we'd really like the boys to stay in at least until November.

Also, living here in the Los Angeles are has meant temperatures in the triple digits only a matter of a couple weeks ago and I'm happy to say this morning that instead of my usual bra and undies, just to keep from overheating, I am happily snuggled into jeans and a t-shirt with a sweatshirt even this morning due to the fact that when I got up it was a wonderful 65 degrees in our apartment.

Fall feels like it has arrived. Finally!

So here we are, next week we have our next doctor's appointment, just a check up, followed by our tour of the maternity ward. I know, I know, we were supposed to do that in the 7th month not the 9th month, but at this point I'm just hoping our first look at the maternity ward isn't for our delivery.

Stay in there boys! It's not time yet.

32 Weeks and Counting...

2010-09-29T09:55:00.000-07:00

We are now 32 weeks and 1 day! Yeah!

Yesterday was our 32 week ultrasound and checkup. We planned it just right. Our daughter isn't allowed in the building where the ultrasound appointment is so we made the appointment for 10:30am and made arrangements with a great friend of mine that lives near the hospital to drop our daughter off on our way and pick her up right after so we could grab lunch before our Dr. appointment. When I made the appointment the receptionist assured me we would most likely be done by noon. Which was perfect as my friend needed to leave by 12:30 to take her daughter to preschool.

Perfect timing. Makes sense right? Nice try.

We dropped our daughter off right at 10:15am and were checking in for the ultrasound by 10:25am. Yeah! We waited our turn and somewhere around probably 10:45am we got called back to an ultrasound room.

We got settled right away and she greased up my belly and began. She went through all the usual things, checking me and the babies. The first thing she told us about the boys was that Baby A was head down and Baby B is breech. That's what we were hoping to hear. If Baby A had still been breech we would have been looking at a probable c-section, but with him head down we can go ahead with a planned VBAC. Baby B's positioning doesn't matter as much because Baby A will 'pave the way' for him, as long as he doesn't end up a few lbs bigger than Baby A.

Unlike our other ultrasounds I found that the images on the screen were not very clear. The boys are so big now that instead of looking up and going, "a foot! ooh, look at his little nose", etc. what we saw was a large mass of limbs. Occasionally I would realized I was looking at ribs or a femur, but for the most part it was hard to tell what anything was unless she happened to be measuring it in that particular moment. Needless to say the days of cute pictures to post and share are over until they arrive. We tried to get cute little face shots, but both boys were turned inward and the closest we got was a glimpse of Baby B's nose. :-)

The machine our technician was using was apparently new and she was either new to the practice or new to the machine because there was a lot of 'figuring out' going on during our appointment. Which probably contributed to the fact that when she finally said we were all done and she'd let the doctor know we were ready it was already 12:15pm.

My DH had to leave to go pick up our daughter before we could meet with the doctor. I sat for half an hour in the room by myself waiting. At some point our technician poked her head in and said something about it being just another minute, but after waiting over 40 minutes I was still without a doctor to talk to.

In the meantime my husband had picked up my daughter and parked on the street just down from the building to wait for me. They had been sitting in the car cranking the a/c for over half an hour and we needed to eat lunch before our 1:30pm doctor's appointment.

I finally poked my head out and found a nurse I knew. After she promised to find out what was going on I went back in and waited another ten minutes before the doctor actually came in. She didn't give an explanation for the delay and since I was beyond ready to go I didn't ask but got right down to finding out what she had to say so I could leave.

She went over the findings with me. The boys were doing great! Baby A was weighing in at approximately 4lbs 3 oz putting him around the 46th percentile. Baby B weighed about 4lbs 7oz. putting him around the 58th percentile. She said that was based on singleton weight, so as twins they were doing great! She said whatever I'm doing, keep it up!

She recommended starting weekly stress tests from here on out to not only check in on the boys once a week, but to check their fluid levels at the same time and make sure they don't start running low or showing a significant difference in levels of fluids in each sac.

At almost 1:15pm I finally thanked the doctor and headed out of the building. Down the elevator, out the front door in the 90+ degree heat, around the building and about half a block down the street to where my poor hungry husband and daughter were waiting.

We decided to grab a quick snack in the cafe of the building where my doctor is so once we parked I dropped them off on the first floor and then continued up the elevator to my doctor, got signed in and filled my water cup from their nice cold water dispenser. Ahh..sweet relief. Off to the bathroom to leave my urine sample and I settled myself in the far corner of the room where there were plenty of empty seats expecting a long wait to see the doctor. I figured we'd camp in that corner and dive into some calories before I got called.

I sat down and on the other end of the large waiting area I heard, "Miss Markez?" "Did you say Marquis?" I called. She laughed, "I'm sorry, Marquis."

I leveraged myself out of the chair where I had just landed to enjoy my cold water and waddled the length of the room muttering something about the room not looking so big the last time I was here. The nurse laughed and took me back to the scale.

At my last appointment 2 weeks ago I was happy to find I had gained 30 lbs on my pregnancy, bringing me up to about 163 (the weight I was the week my daughter was due). I couldn't wait to see how great I had done since then. I stepped on the scale and she stopped playing with the pieces at 165.

"Only two?" I asked.

I must have looked as disappointed as I felt, because she smiled and said I was doing great. Off to the examination room for a blood pressure check. Not sure what it was, I was so hungry I wasn't paying as much attention, but she didn't mention a problem and neither did my doctor.

My phone beeped and I saw a new text from my husband. They had arrived in the office to find me gone. I texted back which room I was in and then stood in the doorway and waited. Of course they would have found me no problem, but I was so hungry that I wasn't taking any chances on them getting turned around.

As soon as my daughter spotted me she yelled Mommy and ran straight to me to give me a hug and proudly show me the package of baked cheetos she was already wearing as much as eating. These are the moments I call Loopholes. We eats so healthy 95% of the time that when moments like this arrive, it is what it is.

I hopped, okay carefully climbed, back up on the table to sit and my husband produced a cheese bagel with cream cheese and a fruit salad. I love that man! I devoured my half of the cheese bagel/cream cheese sandwich in record time and sat back with a sigh while we watch our daughter, now full of refined sugar and color dyes, zip around the room like a fly in a jar stopping only long enough to eat a bite of strawberry or a grape.

Calories consumed I had a few bites of the fruit salad too while we waited.

When the doctor came in I had to finish chewing so I could say Hi. He didn't mind. :-)

I gave him the update from the ultrasound.

"Baby A is head down."

To which he replied, "Who hoo!" throwing his arms in the air like I had just scored a goal.

"And Baby B is breech."

He waved a hand, "Bah, who cares about that!" he said with a smile.

I asked him since we were looking at a VBAC what kind of time frame he was thinking. He looked at his calendar. I jokingly said, "November 2nd sounds like a good day, they'll be 37 weeks."

"Nice try Mom," he replied, with a knowing smile. "38 weeks."

He went back to his calendar and decided that since 38 weeks would be November 9th, we'd plan for November 8th as D-day. If I don't go into spontaneous labor, then this will be my induction day.

Now that I knew I had one day shy of six weeks, I wanted to know how big he expected the boys to be. He said at their current growth rate he expected between six and seven lbs each. Not a bad size. I think he is leaning more toward six lbs though, because I mentioned that my daughter had been 7lbs 4oz and his reply was that hopefully they wouldn't be that big, with a laugh.

He checked my cervix and happily announced I was not dilated at all and was 25% effaced. Good news!

See you in two weeks!

So off we went, happy our boys were healthy and on track, and torn between excited and terrified to realized that in less than six weeks they would be here in our arms!

Down the street to Soup Plantation for a much needed late lunch. It was already 3 o'clock when we sat down to eat and usually our daughter eats lunch around noon and takes a rest around 2pm. With her still tired after being sick last week, we knew she wouldn't last long on the drive home.

Sure enough we were five minutes down the road when the soft sound of snoring drifted up to the front seat. She slept all the way home, transferred to her bed without a peep, curled up and went back to sleep after barely stirring.

We were starting to think she was going to sleep through the night when my Hubs and I realized we were getting hungry around 7:30 or so. He went on an In N Out run and about two minutes before he got back she woke up and climbed in bed with me.

Everybody ate our dinner, watched Scooby Doo and then went quietly off to bed. We all slept great!

We finally got to call all the grandparents and give them a more accurate arrival date. Or at least a deadline for the latest they will arrive. Now everybody can start making travel plans to come and see these two little imps when they arrive. And did I mention the part where family comes and visits and helps out. I like that part A LOT. I'm going to have my hands full and my husband is only going to be taking a few days around the birth since family will be arriving so he can take the bulk of his time off after everybody leaves to help me transition to doing it solo during the days.

Less than six weeks to go and I will get to meet my little boys face to face. I can't wait!!!

Being Pregnant and Getting Sick Sucks...

2010-09-26T23:22:00.000-07:00

I have been bragging, I know I should know better, about how healthy my daughter is. She's my little three year old vegetarian and I've been talking to other Moms about how our vegetarian and healthy living lifestyle means we're almost never sick and how great that is.

So what happened? Daddy got a cold and we were so glad Mommy and our daughter didn't get it. Ha. Nice try. Daddy started to feel better after about three days of ookiness and we all sighed in relief.

Then after only one day of feeling better Daddy had a relapse. This time his cold started off with a fever, not a good sign. Two days later we noticed our daughter wasn't quite herself, light appetite and tired. She woke up crying around 10:30pm with boogies and saying she had to go pee. And you guessed it, as we went to put her on the potty we noticed she was warm. Uh-oh.

We gave her our only dose of children's acetaminophen and tucked her in. The next day she woke up groggy and run down. And her nose started showing signs of stuffiness mid morning just as Daddy started to feel like he had been hit by a freight train...

I hadn't driven in over two months, because the last time I had my weak right hip had hurt so bad I walked funny for three days. We are currently a one car family and it goes to work with Hubbie during the week. On the weekend when I have access to the car we run errands together so this hasn't been a problem.

But here I was, now 8 months pregnant, and it was up to me to take care of my loves. I climbed in the car, laughed at how small that seat felt now that I was so big, and headed to the store in search of more disinfectant spray, children's acetaminophen, c-plus cold tablets and ibuprofen for my aching Hubbie who accidentally left our only bottle on his desk at work the one day he was actually in the office. Oops. Well, now we have two :-)

This went well enough that as they both napped I went and picked up sandwiches at Togo's and vitamin filled smoothies from Robek's for lunch on my second driving adventure in months. It went well, but I did notice that backing up was a challenge because my range of motion is so limited by my current tummy tenants. I certainly felt the stretch in my ribs. :-)

By the time we put her to bed she had even less appetite and Daddy was hacking and coughing. Mommy had a stuffy head and crossed her fingers that that was where it would end.

We both jumped out of bed as we lay watching a movie around 11pm when we heard her cry. Poor kid now had a stuffy and runny nose and woke up sobbing. We snuggled her, helped her blow her nose and, after some snuggles, she actually asked for the purple medicine. Poor kid.

Tucked in with her children's acetaminophen kicking in and her nose blown a little, she slept the rest of the night.

She came groggily into our room when the sun came up the next morning and asked for a movie. Daddy set her up snuggly on the couch with a movie and a cereal bar.

An hour and a half later Mommy was getting up, with a headache and still stuffy but no sign of fever thank goodness. This is when I discovered she hadn't eaten anything that morning. No food, no drink.

I called her in and snuggled her up on my lap, around my huge tummy, and asked what she wanted to eat. Nothing. How about to drink? Nothing.

"I just want my Mommy."

Aww, my poor baby.

I snuggled her up tried to talk her into something, anything from the kitchen. She just wanted hugs. I snuggled her in my lap for half an hour trying to coax her to just take a bite or a sip of something. No interest.

Finally one of us, either her or me, tossed out the idea of some purple medicine. She liked the sound of that. "Okay," I told her. "But first you need to eat some bites and have some sips so you can have the purple medicine."

"Okay Mommy."

Victory!

A few bites of organic blueberry cereal bar and about half a dozen good sips of cold water later she chewed up her reward of purple medicine and settled back against me.

Her interest was peaked at the idea of orange juice and at this point I was willing to go and get anything at the store if I thought she would eat or drink it.

I snuggled her up in a sheet next to Daddy to keep her warm without overheating and left them tucked into bed watching Wallace & Gromit as I climbed in the car and drove for the second day in a row.

I try to be good about picking up just what's on my list, in our family my husband is the better grocery shopper, I tend to be the impulse shopper. We do spend about 1/3 to 2 times as much when he brings our daughter and I along.

Since it was just me, I was trying to behave. But when you family is sick you just want to do everything you can to make things better. Lucky for me the grocery store was having a 72 hour sale, so the extra things I picked up were at least all on sale.

I got organic raspberries and strawberries for my daughter, she's a total berry head and when she's sick the last thing she needs is crap in her food. I found organic dark chocolate peanut butter cups for my Hubby. His favorite thing with less crap again! Yeah!

I also got the ginger root we should have taken days earlier as I was determined not to get it at all. Orange and apple juice in the hopes of getting plenty of fluids into our little miss. I did impulse a few other things, the mustard pretzels from the bulk section were not on sale, but the Annie's strawberry bunny gummies were and I remembered how much she loved them the one time she had them. I was desperate to get good somethings into my daughter.

When I got home with my stash of good stuff she was curled up in our bed watching Scooby-Doo. I was unbelievably excited when she showed interest in the raspberries and quickly poured half the container into a bowl for her. The poor little imp ate a handful of raspberries and promptly passed out, a raspberry still in her hand. She was soooo tired.

After her catnap we started trying to temp her with other treats. All she wanted was Daddy when he got her from her bed (we moved her after she fell asleep to her own bed to finish her rest after she woke up crying and didn't know where she was), until he brought her in where Mommy was. One look at Mommy and all she wanted was Mommy. She snuggled up in my lap in her sheet again to keep her comfy (she's big on nakie time and with her running a fever on and off we weren't going to complain!) and we spent the next hour trying to get her to eat anything. She ate three bites of a cheese stick that sounded good when we suggested it and then was done with it. Same with some cold organic peas, baked snap peas (though she ate more of these than anything) and the orange juice which ended up dumped all over the floor when she took off the lid and didn't tell anybody. Daddy went to pick it up and what she hadn't already spilled taking the lid off dumped all over when the lid came off in Daddy's hand. Poor Daddy.

Did I mention that I had also done laundry (which entails the bending it takes to get it into the basket and get the basket off the floor, followed by carrying it down a flight of stairs around my big belly without tripping and around the building to the laundry room where I get to bend and stand as I load and move the clothes to wash and dry them, whew that's a lot of work!) on Thursday night before my Hubbie got so sick and again during his sickest day on Friday.

So here I was, it was Saturday and I had done more in the last three days, physically, than I had done in the last three months. When you need to, you do what you have to do. That's the way it works. My husband had been working full time, often on projects that take long hours, and then coming home and doing his job and mine for months with all the things I was just not able to do without hurting myself.

So of course, somewhere around Saturday night I went "Whoa, Mama's gotta go lay down." Luckily my hubs was starting to feel better, but my endeavors were catching up to me. Sure enough when he came in to check on me during my rest early evening I had a slight fever. Dang.

So much for dodging the cold completely. Sigh.

Lucky for me since my Hubs was feeling better by the end of the day, he made dinner, got our daughter off to bed and even made me a cup of tea and some ginger root tea. Wow, did that burn, but as soon as I took it I knew I'd been right. My ears felt like there was steam coming out of them, a la a Bugs Bunny cartoon, and my sinuses heated up like I was sitting by a campfire. I definitely had the head cold part going on.

So now it is the end of our sick weekend, my Hubbie is still a bit tired, but well on the mend. Our daughter is a bit tired, but well on the mend as well. I'm tired and dragging, but not dreading his return to work as much as I thought I would.

Lesson learned: No bragging about how healthy you are, there's always a cold or flu nearby just waiting to make a liar out of you.

31 weeks and counting...

2010-09-23T12:33:00.000-07:00

Here we are everybody! 31 weeks and 2 days into our twin pregnancy and I was thrilled to realize that puts us, at most, 8 weeks from meeting our little boys!

Since twins are considered full term at 37 weeks that means in less than six weeks they will no longer be premature when they are born! That will be around November 2nd and I'm hoping they stay in that long. On the flip side, I am so ready to have them out! LOL

My stomach is HUGE and heavy and crowded and I can't tell anymore if I'm having any braxton hicks at all because my skin is tight like a drum and everywhere I push or rest my hand there's a baby!

Ok, so last weekend we went and stocked up on the last few things we needed for me to feel ready to bring babies home. We bought wipes, we bought diapers, we have pacifiers (hoping not to use them, but good to have in case).

The last few things I will need when they arrive can wait until they do. My nursing pillow is probably the only real item that I'd like to have by the time they come out. Just so I can get used to using it in the hospital and hopefully we can get a good rhythm down from the start for nursing.

As for diapers, after all my stress and research here's what I decided. The Bambo Nature diapers are ideal. They have great reviews, they really are my number one choice. However, they are also approximately $.50/diaper. And at ten diapers a day, per baby, that's about $10/day in diapers alone. Yikes!

My second choice is the Earth's Best Newborn diapers, which are the only size diapers made by the company to have poor reviews which claim, unlike all the other sizes, that they leak.

Did I mention they also happen to cost about half as much as the Bambo diapers? I know, still much more than Huggies, Pampers or Luvs, but chemical free on our babies' skin and eco-friendly too.

Of course it doesn't hurt that we have stock in Hain Celestial, which also owns Earth's Best. With the amount of diapers we're going to go through, we may raise the value of the stock all on our own! LOL

So I made my Hubbie a deal. We went to Toys R Us and bought about a week's worth of Earth's Best Newborn diapers. Which worked out great because they are usually about $10.99/40 diapers in Newborn size and they were on sale for $8.99. So we saved six bucks and got a great deal on the diapers!

If at the end of the first week we are doing twice the laundry because the diapers leak, we will drive over to Encino and pick up some Bambo Newborn diapers at Mother's Haven to use instead. But I'm honestly hoping that they have improved the Newborn size since the reviews were left for the Earth's Best diapers and we can continue to use these baby and eco-friendly diapers that are also friendlier to our wallet.

I also picked up two boxes of my favorite nursing pads made by Lansinoh, which were also on sale at Toys R Us last weekend, BOGO half off, so those are ready when we are.

The changing table is stocked, I found some great canvas bins at Big Lots and bought six of them, which fit perfectly onto our changing table. They contain diapers and wipes, onesies galore, newborn t-shirts and pants, bibs, hats and socks, and extra wipes and boobie covers.

My tummy feels huge this week and although at my doctor's appointment a week and a half ago I was assured everything was going fine and there were no signs of preterm labor, now I am feeling like we have got to be entering the home stretch. I spend half my day heading to the bathroom to empty my bladder because somebody is pressing on it again and half the day heading to the bathroom trying to decide if I have to go, or if the boys are just putting a lot of pressure on my bowels. My husband assures me I had this with my daughter, but does concede that he only remembers it being an issue the last month or so.

We have our next ultrasound on Tuesday and I can't wait to see my little boys again and find out how much they've grown. I'm betting at least 4 lbs each! Feels like so much more! Did I mention that I weighed in around 163 at my last doctor's appointment. The same weight I was at my last doctor's appointment the day my daughter was due. And I still have 6-8 weeks to go. And the boys are supposed to be putting on another half a pound a week until they arrive. Whew!

It may not sound like much, but I'm only 5'3". That's a lot of weight on this little frame. My only consolation and the reason I'm not crying every time I step on the scale, is that I really am ALL BABY. I haven't put hardly any weight on in my legs, arms or face. I've just got this ginormous belly on me! I'm hoping that means I really will lose 30 lbs the day they are born, but I'm not betting on it!

I'm also looking forward to seeing their faces again. As you may recall we got a few wonderful pictures of Baby A and one great scowl picture from Baby B. I'm hoping this time we will get clear enough pictures of both that we can see just how alike they look.

Mostly though I'm looking forward to hearing that they are around 4lbs and that they are very near in weight. If there is a large difference in their weight I know the doctor will want to deliver them sooner rather than later.

I don't mind the sooner part, on the condition that they are big enough and their lungs are developed enough that they won't be spending much, if any, time in the NICU. Their place is with me, so I want them healthy enough that they can stay there. Snuggled with Mama filling up on Mama Milk!

Fingers crossed!

30 weeks and counting...

2010-09-14T09:57:00.001-07:00

So here we are at 30 weeks! For something that seemed to be taking forever, that finish line is coming more and more clearly into view.

Part One

Today we have our 30 week checkup. In two weeks we'll have our 32 week checkup, and more importantly our 32 week ultrasound where we'll find out if Baby A is still breech.

In the meantime, I've spent the bulk of my awake time so far this morning putting together a birthing plan, something I kept putting off and putting off until I realized we have less than two months until the boys are full term. So, no time like the present.

Thanks to sites like Parents.com you can find plenty of information on what to include in your birthing plan.

Some of it is straightforward, such as "Do you plan to circumcise your son?" To which, for us, the answer is No. There's no medical reason to cut my baby, I'm certainly not going to do it just because. If either of the boys decide later in life they can do without their foreskin they are welcome to have it removed. In the meantime we'll teach them as they grow how to take care and keep clean and our part will be done.

Other things you wouldn't necessarily think of, such as "Do you want the nurses to give your baby bottles or pacifiers?"

I didn't realize when I began making the birthing plan for our daughter that I should think about these things. I intended to breastfeed and it didn't occur to me that unless I told them otherwise, the nurses would feed my baby formula and give her a pacifier.

I put that right into our birthing plan and the hospital she was born in put a small sign in her bassinet that said in bold letters something along the lines of "NO bottles. NO pacifiers. Bring me to Mommy." Which is exactly what they did. If she started to cry and was in the nursery while I was resting they brought her straight to me instead of confusing her with pacifiers and bottles. I think this is part of the reason she took to the breast so well. It was all she knew.

Granted this meant that at all hours of the night my little baby girl would come rolling into my room with her nurse escort for some boobie time. I was tired, but I'm glad we stuck with our decision. It also meant that nearly every time she fed, I had a nurse handing her to me and helping me make sure she was latching well. That was a huge confidence boost for a new Mama.

It turned out that she was a good eater and a good boobie snuggler and never actually had a pacifier. I was a nanny for ten years before we started our family and I had played "The Paci Game" where you spend baby's entire sleep time running back in to put their pacifier back in their mouth. I didn't want to encourage such a thing with our little one, I knew it would drive us crazy.

The flip side of that was that I was her pacifier. All new babies need to suck, it's good for digestion, it's comforting and when Mommy is the pacifier it is also a great bonding experience.

Granted with two babies on the way, we may not be able to let Mama be the pacifier this time around so I have found baby, and baby teeth, friendly pacifiers (recommended by the boys' godmama) and have them on standby in case we decide to use them.

Having been through the child birth experience once already I can put things in my birth plan that I would not have thought of before. For example, when my daughter was born via c-section she was cleaned up and handed to Daddy where I got to look at my beautiful baby. Then she and Daddy headed off to the nursery for her first bath and official weigh in.

Approximately 30 minutes after she was born I was all stitched up and lying in recovery in an empty room waiting for somebody to remember I was there. After ten minutes or so in came my daughter with her entourage (Daddy and all the Grandparents) that had been oohing and aahing outside the nursery window as she got sparkly clean.

Now about half an hour old my daughter was placed in my arms for the first time. The disconnect from the c-section and not touching her for so long I think attributed to the fact that I had more difficulty bonding with my daughter than I ever thought possible. She was months old before she felt like mine. I felt more like her nanny than her mother, even though I was breastfeeding.

This time around, baring any medical complication, I am being very specific with my doctor that the boys and I be allowed that bonding time. Even in the case of a c-section, I want to be able to touch them and hold them and this time around be the first person they come in contact with instead of the fourth or fifth. It's not going to hurt them to spend a few extra minutes with Mama before they go off for their first bath and weigh in.

Part Two

Came through our appointment with flying colors. My cervix is right where it's supposed to be. Nowhere. I gained 7 1/2 lbs since our visit two weeks ago. I am now a whopping 163 lbs which sounds like a lot, but it really is all in my belly. I have this tiny frame and, unlike my first pregnancy, I'm not putting on weight everywhere despite the numbers climbing on the scale each time I step up. I'm all baby. Which means the boys are growing, growing, growing.

Each visit the doctor takes out his tape measure and figures out how big my uterus is. If I were having one baby then the size of my uterus would track pretty close to how far along I am. So since we're 30 weeks my uterus would probably measure around 30 cm for a normal, singleton pregnancy.

My boys are definitely growing because my tummy measured in at 37 cm today!

My blood pressure was also a bit lower this week than its been tracking. Not that it's been high, my husband just noticed as he was reading the computer over the nurse's shoulder that it was just a bit lower. I have been watching my salt intake pretty well, hoping to head off any possibility of pre-eclampsia. And I'm so big and so tired that I do lay down a lot. Both are probably helping my blood pressure settle in at a nice level.

Dr. Brock did a great job answering my questions. Cameras and video are welcome at the birth so we can document their arrival! I was excited to hear that as some doctors don't allow the actual birth to be filmed. Not that I need a graphic account, but I would like to be able to look back and enjoy their first few moments with us in technicolor.

He doesn't do episiotomies, so Yeah! Don't have to worry about that one. Plus with twins, he said it wouldn't be anything to worry about. He also assured me that if I want to hold my babies as soon as they are born, "They're your babies!" Which is great, as you read earlier I was a bit neurotically concerned about getting to bond with my boys.

When I joked, "I know. I'm neurotic," after my long list of questions (which I actually remembered to write down this time) he simply replied, "There's a word for people like you...Mom."

Exactly!

I was able to round out my birth plan so at our next appointment I can pass a copy on to the doctor for my file. Next on my "You mean we didn't do that yet?" list is a tour of the maternity ward at Cedars. That way we can get a feel for the space and I can ask any leftover questions about our hospital stay. I'm not sure when we were supposed to do it, but we haven't yet.

The only birth experience I have is a c-section. I found the doctor I chose so that I would have the best chance of a VBAC. The hospital I'm delivering in only has a 22% cesarean rate.

So if my little imp, Baby A, does flip himself over head down, I may find myself getting exactly what I asked for. A surgery free birth.

So why didn't it occur to me until now that I probably should have taken a child birth class, or at least a refresher?

I'm going to be in labor for who knows how long and I haven't even thought about any music to bring, or labor techniques or anything like that.

What was I thinking?

I know what I was thinking. I was so busy preparing myself for the possibility of another cesarean that I forgot to prepare myself for the actual VBAC!

Time to figure that out before I find myself in labor for hours wishing I'd at least done some of the above.

29 weeks and counting...

2010-09-07T09:57:00.001-07:00

Here we are, another Labor Day weekend away from family and although we missed our families again this year I have to admit it was nice to have the weekend to ourselves. We spent Saturday and Sunday as we usually do, running errands and trying to accomplish all the things that just don't happen during the week.

Including a trip to Babies R Us where we stocked up on a few items for the boys and I am continuing to feel just a bit closer to prepared.

I have two goals for September.

The first is to purchase that second crib mattress as our daughter is still using the first one on her toddler bed for the time being. The boys will share a crib for the first 5 or 6 months, which I think they will enjoy anyway, and then we will need to find a larger apartment.

The second is to purchase a package of diapers so there are some in the house. I know it may sound silly, but if I have diapers I can pack the small diaper bag for the boys at the hospital. Onesies, organic diapers, socks, hats...all those silly things that you realize you wish you had brought as you are sitting in the hospital looking through your bag full of items just for Mommy.

Today I am going to try and make a list of Things to Do in September for the boys and Things to Do in October for the boys.

That way I won't have moments where I drive my poor husband crazy with a meltdown over not having something, like diapers, in the house with ONLY eight to ten weeks until the boys are supposed to arrive.

Again neurotic I know, but when you are pregnant and nesting and fully aware that there is no guarantee the boys will even stay in until full term you just want everything to be done NOW so you at least feel prepared. Of course, it's entirely possible these boys will take after their sister and stay in beyond their due date. Which wouldn't surprise me, but I can't help but prepare for their early arrival for my own peace of mind. Of course that probably means at the expense of my poor husband's sanity on occasion.

For instance, the garage. When we packed up our world and moved from the east coast to the west coast our daughter was just over a year old. I know that at that time I took all the newborn clothing (mostly neutral since we didn't find out she was girl until our daughter arrived), and packed it up together either in a box or a space bag in a tub. I didn't pay much attention to where it ended up because we were not even thinking about baby number two at that point.

Now here we are two years later with much of those boxes/tubs still piled in the back of our garage waiting to be organized. Enter summer in California where the daily temperature here in the valley is in the upper 90s every day. I certainly can't go out there and move boxes around at all, let alone in the heat while my husband's at work.

And since my husband is working full time and then spending most of his home time helping take care of all the errands and chores that I can't do, he hasn't made it out to the garage as yet. But he still hears about the garage nearly every day.

He even took the time to go take a peek yesterday, but it was too dark to see much as it was the end of a wonderful day.

Oh well, maybe next weekend he can get in there and find me the newborn baby items so I can take stock of what we have and finish filling in the gaps.

Yesterday was the first 'Saturday' we had in a long time. Since we had taken Saturday and Sunday to run around and get things done, we got to enjoy a lazy 'Saturday' when Labor Day itself rolled around.

We had a nice breakfast, picked up some groceries and then snuggled and watched a movie as we dozed during our daughter's nap. We even spent the evening outside enjoying the cool night air and good company of friends while the kids played.

It truly was a relaxing day. I actually had to go back in to change into pants and a sweatshirt! It was heaven. I have been big, pregnant and hot for so long it was a great change of pace.

We have our next doctor's appointment next week and will see the doctor every two weeks until we get to the very end and then I think we'll see the doctor every week.

We will find out where the babies are positioned at our next ultrasound in three weeks. At which point the boys will be out of room and in whatever position they are likely to stay. If Baby A (thus named because he is closest to the exit) is still breech we will be scheduling a c-section instead of waiting for labor to begin.

I'm torn on how I feel about this. As hard and I tried to make sure I would not have another c-section and as hard as I know six weeks of recovery with two new babies and a toddler to keep up with would be, part of me feels safer that at least I know I won't be having the babies in the car on the way to the hospital.

If I could have the controlled, safe environment (and the chosen date of arrival) of a c-section and still not have the six weeks, plus, of recovery wouldn't that be great?

Oh well, what will be will be. Like my daughter, I have a feeling these boys will arrive how and when they choose.

Fingers crossed that the little imps at least stay in until 37 weeks and at least five pounds each!

28 Weeks and Counting!

2010-09-02T09:42:00.001-07:00

Yesterday was our 28 week appointment and ultrasound. Today we are 28 weeks and 2 days into our pregnancy and things are going great!

As usual I managed to work myself into a tizzy just days before the actual appointment. I've learned, even moreso since becoming pregnant again, that I am very much a 'prepare for the worst' personality. I tend to forget the 'hope for the best' and simply prepare for the worst, probably in an attempt to not be blindsided if bad occurs.

Since yesterday's appointment included my glucose test I was in rare form the last few days, driving my poor husband crazy with my mood swings and worrying. I have had hypoglycemic tendencies since I was a teen and am very aware of how sugar effects me. I've known for years that if I get up and have a powdered donut for breakfast, half an hour later my sugars will bottom out and I will feel horrible. If I want a donut, I have to eat something high in protein first, like eggs.

Now that we eat much healthier than I did as a teen, oh the things I used to put in this body, I don't have to worry as much about my sugars. When I was pregnant with my daughter, I realized somewhere near the end of my pregnancy that unlike before I was pregnant, I could actually eat things like donuts. Of course, upon discovering this I started a horrible habit of stopping at Dunkin' Donuts nearly every day to 'be a good girl' and have a raisin bagel with egg and cheese on it, followed of course by my reward for behaving: a large glazed twist!

Which probably explains the bulk of my weight gain arriving the last six weeks or so. :-)

With these boys, I have found the opposite to be true. I have to limit my sugars, or at least my super sugars. If I want a donut, even after an egg and cheese bagel, I have to settle for a simple cake donut because anything resembling a glazed donut or apple fritter will put me over the edge and I feel the effects.

Because of this, I was actually very worried about my glucose test. I know diabetes runs in my family, and my mother had gestational diabetes with my brother leading to a very specific diet AND insulin injections daily for her. She did have a few factors that I don't, but she also wasn't carrying two little imps.

I approached it rationally when I was pregnant with my daughter, eating a high protein lunch and then chasing it with the nasty orange glucose drink. I passed with flying colors.

This time I was so stressed out that I ate a good protein breakfast but didn't manage to eat anything more before I took the actual test at nearly noon because the morning got away from me and I was stressing about it. I got the red glucose test this time, which oddly reminded me of the hawaiin punch 'juice' boxes I drank on a couple occasions as a child. Thank goodness I kept it in the fridge, because even cold it was kinda nasty.

I thought for sure I would feel my sugars going crazy by the time we got to the doctor, but other than being about 20 minutes late we did just fine. We went right in to see the doctor, he checked me out and everything was fine. No signs of preterm labor, good blood pressure. I mention this because along with my worries/preparations about my appointment I was waiting to hear that I was dilating and my blood pressure was high due to pre-eclampsia. There is definitely such a thing as too informed and I'm there.

After I was all checked out and we had heard both heartbeats, the doctor said "see you in two weeks" and a nurse came in to draw blood for my glucose test. And then it was over. All that stress and everything was fine. I am such a worry wort.

We popped downstairs to a cafe in the building for a quick bite and then it was off to the ultrasound down the street.

We got checked in and realized we were about 20 minutes late for this one too. We went in pretty quickly and within minutes there were our boys, up on the big screen. I have a girlfriend who found out she was having a girl at her 20 week appointment and starting planning for such. Three days before her baby shower, she went in for another routine ultrasound and the technician said "Oops. Looks like you're having a boy!"

So of course the first things I asked was, "Are they still boys?"

She was very patient and the first thing she did was find that view for us. Yep! They are definitely little boys! LOL

You may recall the wonderful picture we got of them touching toes through the membrane between them and how sweet that was. You may also remember the fact that the entire time she was trying to get pictures of Baby B, his brother Baby A was kicking him in the head.

Well, turns out my boys give as good as they get!

The first picture she took was of Baby A, with Baby B's food resting on his chest. King of the Mountain I guess. About ten minutes later she got another such picture, this time Baby B had his foot resting on top of Baby A's head. Definitely boys!

We watched them play as she measured all their little parts, I couldn't believe how big their little legs looked! Of course, I know they were blown up on the screen, but considering you used to be able to see the whole baby at once and now it was like an octopus in there with limbs everywhere it was truly amazing!

After they were all measured she told us that they were each weighing in at 2 lbs 8 ounces. I was thrilled! My sister was born premature, 6 weeks or so, and only weighed 2 lbs 12 ounces at birth. I just wanted to hear that these boys were already at least 2 lbs with ten-ish weeks to go. Yeah boys, good job!

Lucky for us, all the machines in this facility have been upgraded to 3D. So once all the formalities and measuring were done, she switched wands, re-gelled my belly and we got to see our little boys faces for the first time.

It was so fabulous to see my wonder reflected on my husband's face as we saw our little boys for the first time. Baby A was cooperating more so we got a couple good pictures of his face. His brother we only got one before he grouchily rolled over. Of course the look on his face is priceless! Right before she snapped the picture his brother (Baby A giving some back!) kicked him in the face, so he was scowling as he slept when she took the picture!

It was truly amazing to see in the wonderful shot we got of Baby A's face that he looks just like his sister! He has her nose, mouth and chin. It was just breathtaking to see them already! If they didn't feel quite real before, they definitely do now.

Baby B Baby A

So far, no news on my glucose, but I figure no news is good news for now. In the meantime I left a message with the Dr. office and am waiting for a reply. Fingers crossed.

*Edit: Finally heard back! Yeah! Passed my glucose test fine. But I'm slightly anemic. So time to add another iron supplement and increase my iron rich foods. Tomorrow I'm going to attempt a lentil soup in my crock pot that includes all kinds of iron rich foods. Fingers crossed that it's yummy!

9 weeks to go until they are no longer considered premature at birth! Almost there!

Oh, and as of yesterday Baby A (who is closest to the exit, and would thus be born first) is breech. The ultrasound Dr. said that they still have room to move around, but at our next ultrasound in four weeks if he is still breech, we will most likely be scrapping the VBAC and planning for a c-section.

25 weeks and counting...

2010-08-11T14:53:00.000-07:00

Okay all! So we're 25 weeks and counting on these rambunctious boys and they are crowded and active!

So now that they are running out of room and growing like weeds at the same time I find myself in a fun place. I am, quite literally, all baby. My arms and legs are as toned and thin, if not more so, than they were when I got pregnant. Then there's this large round belly, tight like a drum and full of kicking limbs. Unlike with my first pregnancy, with my daughter, this time around I gaining little weight because these boys require so many calories. I also lost ten pounds the first trimester because I was so ill with morning sickness.

At my 24 week appointment last week my doctor looked at my chart and, not happy or unhappy, declared that I had gained 14 lbs on this pregnancy. I agree, my first thought should have been to kick up my heels and cheer. But I admit, I felt disheartened. I know that what these boys don't get from my diet they will take from my body and coming home to care for two growing infants with a body that is depleted does not appeal in the least!

So, I am not thinking about numbers, but trying to pay attention to my body and give it what it needs. Above and beyond what the boys are taking. If this means that after my first piece of the heavenly veggie lasagna my Hubbie created I feel as if I didn't get any, I go back for a second piece. If I feel a little dehydrated, I pour a glass of water AND break out the large dish of fresh watermelon my fabulous DH keeps in the fridge for me.

Did I mention my Hubbie is a saint? Okay, he'd probably squirt milk, or more likely an iced coffee out of his nose if he heard me say that, but really. The man has been my hero throughout this pregnancy.

The biggest challenge for me has been how little I can do. I've always thought of my self as relatively independent and the fact that I can't stand long enough to cook a full meal, or carry a basket of laundry up and down the steps to the washer, or vacuum because it's too exhausting and I overheat, or any other number of things that I never thought about, I just did before I was pregnant with these two adorable parasites can frustrate the living daylights out of me.

Which means, my fabulous husband goes to work and puts in a full day so we have money for diapers and all my weird cravings, then he stops at the grocery store and stocks up on his way home where he arrives with groceries and hugs for Mommy and our daughter (who is feeling a little neglected because I can't really play much with her and I rest a lot) and then goes about making a fabulous healthy dinner before snuggling us both and getting our three year old into her pajamas and off to bed before he curls up with his ever-growing wife for probably yet another horribly boring documentary on pregnancy, or twins or whatever has caught my attention that day.

Then he takes about ten minutes for himself after I fall asleep before he goes to bed himself so he can wake up the next morning and do it all over again.

Throw in some stressful days at work, some toddler meltdowns and an occasionally sobbing (for no reason of course) pregnant woman and it's a wonder this poor man hasn't been committed!

To my Hubbie! You truly are my hero!

So, in an effort to do my best at the things I actually can do I am making sure to take my vegan prenatal (Rainbow Light Prenatal One a Day), a vegetarian DHA supplement for healthy growing brains (twice a day) and a pro-biotic with breakfast each day, which currently consists of homemade organic oatmeal with a bit of fair trade organic brown sugar, which just tastes better than what I grew up on, and a little cinnamon, nutmeg and a dash of cloves. Generally, with a side of applesauce, but this morning thanks to our first organic produce delivery from Fresh For You, a bowl of fresh cut organic white nectarine tossed with some organic flame seedless grapes. Yum!

Hubbie keeps us stocked on easy to make or heat meals that I can throw together during the day in just a few minutes. Our daughter loves veggies and we always have frozen organic produce. Her favorites right now are green beans and broccoli, but she also loves peas. I don't even bother to cook them anymore. It's summer, and it's warm even with the a/c on, and not just if you're pregnant. When frozen vegetables are frozen, they are blanched first, which means they are already partially cooked. So why mess with a good thing. I soak them in filtered water, enough to thaw them and then my daughter eats them like a cold candy salad. It's a great way to throw something cool into my lunch as well, a serving of cold peas or mixed veggies makes a great side to a veggie burger or mini-pizza.

In addition to the fabulous dinners and delicious watermelon, I am also paying close attention to other things my body needs, like protein. What I don't eat, these boys will take straight out of my muscles and I'm going to need all I've got and more to haul these boys and all their stuff around when they come out!

So, since we don't eat meat, where am I getting my extra protein? Well, I'm glad you asked!

Broccoli, kidney beans, eggs, cheese with whole grain crackers, veggie hot dogs, veggie burgers (Gardenburger is my favorite), Quorn products on occasion. Interestingly enough, I have a friend that is exactly three weeks behind me in her own pregnancy and around the time I started having trouble eating the Quorn brand products because the texture was just too close to meat, she began having trouble eating actual meat for the same reason. Hmm...

This is just the tip of the iceberg that is my protein. A favorite protein pick-me-up in the middle of the morning or afternoon that seems to be helping is a fabulous new bar, again found by my rockin' Hubbie. Luna Protein. These bars are yummy and packs some serious protein in a quick snack. My personal favorite is the Cookie Dough, with Peanut Butter running a close second.

As preggo brain seems to be running rampant I am sure this blog entry is not as flowing as my last few, but I'm sure during a good day the perfectionist in me will revisit and edit.

So this is where we are this week. For now, we are staying in our two bedroom apartment and switching rooms with the kids to give them the larger room. Which only makes sense, since soon they will outnumber us anyway. Then next Spring when it's not wicked hot and I'm not large and pregnant we will revisit the larger domicile discussion.

In the meantime, I am looking forward to a baby shower for the boys later this month and being just a few weeks closer to holding these little imps in my arms instead of my tummy!

And the gender is...

2010-07-08T09:18:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was our 20 week doctor appointment and ultrasound. I couldn't believe how nervous I was. I have wanted a son for as long as I can remember. I love my daughter, but want so much to have a little boy as well. When I went to sleep the night before I had butterflies like before a trip.

I woke up with the butterflies still rattling around in my stomach. I felt like I was off to Disney World or Six Flags as I started my day, not to a doctor's appointment.

We dropped our daughter off with a fabulous friend, as children under age 12 are not allowed at the prenatal screening department of the hospital, and made our way in to Cedars. I was overwhelmed by the well wishes and excitement echoed in my friends and family via Facebook and texts. I felt so blessed to realize everyone else was as excited as we were!

We made it to our doctors appointment and waited patiently to see our OB. He was wonderful as usual, answering any questions and never making me feel like any question was a dumb question. Dr. Brock was great and wished us luck at our ultrasound.

By now it was nearly 1 o'clock and not only did we have an hour and a half until our ultrasound, but I was hungry! I wanted so badly for the babies to be in good spirits that I ate very productively at Soup Plantation! Usually I eat my salad and then my body is so busy processing, it's hard for me to peruse and snag myself much of the other good stuff. Not this time!

I left my hubby still setting down our tray of salads and made my circuit coming back with a cream of broccoli soup (with giant chunks of broccoli in it, I'll have to make mine like this from now on) and a delicious lentil soup. That was my first round. Back again and I got a hot baked potato and some shredded cheese to melt on it. Extra protein when you can! Split that puppy open and mashed it all out with the cheese melting away while I started on my soups!

Two soups down, I licked my spoon clean and it was on to that hot cheesy potato! I slathered it in the ranch dressing I picked up just for this reason when I was making my salad and happily pushed away an empty plate a couple minutes later. I was on a roll!

Last, but certainly not least, was my salad that I dove into with much eagerness despite what should have been a nearly full tummy. With its spinach and dark leafy green lettuce, black olives, kidney beans, butternut squash, beets, raisins, hard boiled egg, carrots, zucchini, celery and a refreshingly light creamy cucumber dressing I was packing in the good stuff!

I will say that, especially when I am pregnant, I do my best to eat about 90% organic. Certain things I just don't eat if they are not organic. However, doing this regularly allows for a bit of room on occasion, like going to Soup Plantation. I know they use organic whenever possible, but nothing on their salad bar, or otherwise, is specifically labeled organic.

I figure since I eat so much organic otherwise, the small concentration of undesirables in an occasional, not so unhealthy, trip to Soup Plantation is reasonable.

Okay. So, full tummy and away we go!

Back to the butterflies as we walked from our car to the elevators and rode them up to the prenatal screening department. We signed in and waited our turn. The closer we got the more excited I felt. I guess I can liken it to that feeling when you finally get to the front of the long line for the new roller coaster. You're so excited you are almost giddy!

When we were called I was delighted to find the nurse to be the same we had last time. The reason I remembered her so clearly was all in the way she uses a needle! At my last ultrasound they needed to do blood work as well, as part of the genetic testing they were doing. She told me to look at my husband and take a deep breath. I did and then waited and waited. I couldn't figure out what was taking so long. I turned to ask her and realized she was changing to the second vial and I never felt the needle even touch me. I'm pretty good with needles, sure they hurt a little, but not that much if they are doing it right. I honestly never even felt the needle touch my skin.

After we caught up and visited with her a bit, our ultrasound technician from our 12 week ultrasound came in. The first thing she asked as she squirted that warm gel onto my belly was whether we were looking for gender today.

Absolutely!

She started the ultrasound and within two seconds there was baby on the screen. She didn't tell us but pointed out that what we were looking at was a view of the baby from under the bum. There were two little legs and you could see that cute behind. "What do we see here?" she asked. I looked and sure enough, there was something very prominent between those little legs. We had a boy!

We were so excited, I had my one boy! She moved over to get the 'up the kilt' view of baby B and sure enough, there was something there too!

Two boys!!

We were ecstatic! I had wondered and speculated about who was in there for months and now I knew. My little boys were in there! I have two sons. That still just makes me smile!

We got to watch as she took all her measurements of legs and arms and heads with big strong brains. We were in awe as we watched all four chambers of each of their hearts pumping like champions. We were blessed and relieved to see that everything was as it should be!

We even accidentally got a beautiful picture of the two of them touching wiggly toes through the membrane between them.

Now that we knew we had two healthy boys on the way, the question on our minds was 'identical' or 'fraternal'?

We met with the doctor when our ultrasounds were done and Dr. Williams, Dr. John Williams (which made me smile and ask my husband if he was going to write them a song, I know I'm cheesy), looked at our babies and at the membrane so thin between them. He pointed out that there was also only one placenta that he could see. He said we would have to do DNA testing to be absolute certain, but he didn't see any reason to think they were anything but identical. Healthy and I'm happy. No matter how much they look alike, I'm sure once we get to know our boys they will be easy to tell apart either way. I hope!

We said goodbye to the doctor and headed for the exit. I sat down in the lobby to start texting people, starting with my friend watching our daughter, and was halfway through the first sentence when my vertigo went into overdrive. It only took a second to realize that it was just an earthquake.

But when you are pregnant, and you have vertigo, (which I discovered when my wonderful husband, then boyfriend, took me to NYC for a weekend and we were almost to the top of the Empire State Building) there is no such thing as 'just an earthquake'.

On top of being in a tall building in downtown L.A. when the tremors occurred, I was also in a building built on rollers to help it continue to stand when the ground shakes. So even though the quake ended in about five seconds, the building continued to sway for another ten. It was apparently a 5.7 somewhere near San Diego so other than a little shaking, it didn't really effect us too badly.

As strange as it was for me, my poor husband had just sat down in a stall in the bathroom when the building began to move!

It was certainly a day neither of us will forget! Two boys AND an earthquake!

The Natural Boob Job

2010-07-04T22:40:00.000-07:00

What small chested woman hasn't looked at the other bikinis on the beach with their B cups to DD cups and wondered for a moment about a boob job?

Most of us follow that thought with a laugh and move on.

Little do we know that all we have to do is wait. Wait until our Mom body arrives. Nothing comes for free, but while you are putting on those Mom pounds and making a baby, your boob job is in the works.

I was always a small chested gal. I joked that I sported an A and an A-. When I got pregnant with my daughter that all changed. In a matter of months I was busting out of most bras and, though I began to live in sports bras at the time, I knew things were changing. In addition to the pain and weight of my new-found breasts, my tops were getting tighter in more than just the belly.

When I nursed my daughter I had to keep going back to buy bras because once my milk came in, and my daughter was exclusively nursing for that first six months or so before solid foods came along, I found myself filling out first a D cup and then an E cup!

Even after my daughter was weaned at 15 months, I still had more boobs than before. I took myself to Victoria's Secret and got sized. Something I had never done and always wanted to do. The best part is it's free. They will tell you exactly the size you should wear.

It's a whole different ballgame putting on the correct size bra. I discovered after wearing from a 36 B to a 38 D (I was told going up in the band size would compensate because the bra I liked wasn't made in the E cup needed) that when all was said and done I was supposed to be wearing a 34C.

Sounded good to me.

The main reason for the C cup was that one breast was a C and the other a B. This is typical, most women have a breast that is larger than the other. You ladies know however, once you get pregnant nothing stays the same. My first pregnancy I figured they just might balance out. HA! Of course not! My larger breast just kept getting larger.

Now I am nearly tumbling out of my 34C I bought myself at Victoria's Secret on one side and just almost a C cup on the other side. I think I actually have one breast that is twice the size of the other.

On a side note: An assumption I discovered was untrue when nursing, "A bigger breast must mean more milk!" Quite the opposite it seemed. My smaller breast consistently made more milk than my larger breast, as I discovered when I began pumping regularly so my husband could enjoy those feeding bonding moments with our daughter too.

My first visit to Destination Maternity happened around 8 weeks. I was already having trouble with my pants being too tight and was so sick I just wanted to be comfortable. I intended to fill out my maternity wardrobe a bit. Which since I still can't find half of it, took more filling out than I intended.

For my bottoms I found a pair each of khaki shorts, jeans, and khaki pants. For my top I also purchased two ribbed tanks and another two t-shirts. As well as some new preggo undies, as my lovely Victoria's Secret panties no longer had enough give and the band was cutting into baby land. In addition to these necessities, I got an adorable white tank with blue flowers that I fell in love with and thought would be adorable on a growing belly. I thought this should have me set, but I hadn't thought of bras because at the time mine still fit.

Since it is now the end of summer season, according to their company head, and the beginning of summer here in Los Angeles, now is the time to buy maternity or nursing wear! Most of the stuff I now need is on sale.

Now that I am 20 weeks and finding myself only able to wear maternity clothes I am also finding that I am running out of them before laundry day rolls around and it's just too hot these days, pregnant or not, to wear my husband's big t-shirts and my sweat pants even if that's all that fits and is clean.

My wonderful husband took me back today to Destination Maternity, where I found myself bra shopping. The women at this store have always been very helpful and supportive. Most have been through pregnancy themselves and understand the needs and frustrations of shopping for maternity wear. Jennifer was my shopping friend today and the first thing she did for me was measure to see what size bra I needed at this stage (halfway through) of my pregnancy.

She took out her tape measure, wrapped it around my bust and ribs and told me I was between a 36D and a 36E. I almost asked her to do it again. That couldn't be right, could it?

36E was supposed to be my size when I was horribly engorged with milk, not my preggo boob size!

So, Jennifer set about getting me all set up. While I sat in a chair and sipped some cool water, (I had to walk the length of the mall to get to the store. Which doesn't sound like much, but man. These days that's half a marathon for me! ) Jennifer went to the bra section and got every style they had in my size and set it up in the larger dressing room with a large seat so I could rest in between trying things on.

She also overheard me ask my patient hubby, who was busy corralling our almost 3 year old as she tried to create a form of foot race combined with peek a boo for him to join her in, to see if any light dresses caught his eye as it has been warm and will only get hotter in the coming weeks. When I stepped into the dressing room to try on the bras I discovered half a dozen dresses in my size from their sale rack. Including a wonderfully light dress I picked up that I may very well live in for the next few months.

I removed my firm, supportive Victoria's Secret 34C bra and caught my reflection in the mirror. This is the first time I've been in front of a mirror that large while dressing and I was shocked to realized my boobs were HUGE! No wonder they hurt if I don't wear a sleep bra or go without a bra for even a couple hours.

I picked up the first bra, a great compromise of comfort and support. Like a sleep bra it is very light, you almost don't realize you are wearing it, but it also has a bit of padding and great support. "This," Jennifer said, as she began to describe each bra for me before she had closed the curtain, "is the bra you will want to live in when you first come home and your milk comes in."

She wasn't kidding. I only bought one of them today, but I am so going to go back over the next few months and slowly build up my supply. I have a feeling I will be living in these nursing bras once the babes arrive. They are my favorite bra and once I put it on and adjusted it, it was like my heavy boobs disappeared. All that weight that had been dragging at my shoulders and back from wearing too small of a bra just evaporated.

Along with this sleep/comfy bra (which I bought and had Jennifer remove the tags so I could wear it home) I bought one much like the 36 B I wore at the end of my nursing days with my daughter, but in the new 36E size. Yikes! That still feels strange coming from a former A cup girl. Haha.

I also got another pair of shorts, denim to go with the khaki shorts I already have. I also picked up more panties so now I should have just over a week's worth of those as well, since none of my other undies fit anymore. The ribbed tanks I bought at my first visit have been so comfortable I picked up two more of those today too. Of course, it didn't hurt that they were on sale!

So here I am with at least a week's worth of maternity clothes, including two cute dresses total and if I'm lucky all I'll have to shop for in the next few months is a couple more of these super comfy bras!

I'm dreading what shopping for bras will be like once the babes arrive though, I had trouble finding E cups in the 36 in a number of the styles of bra I like. I am NOT an under-wire girl, but finding good supportive bras without it apparently gets more challenging the larger your bust. I honestly don't know what large busted women do when they get pregnant.

If things keep going, and growing, like they are I guess I'll find out!

Ah, the Weigh In

2010-07-01T08:50:00.000-07:00

What woman doesn't love the words: "Just step onto the scale please."

I am genetically petite and have also always been relatively tiny. The most I weighed in my life was 118 lbs and that was when I trained in martial arts and had 'beefed up'.

Then I got pregnant the first time. Each doctor visit I would watch the woman tick those little metal boxes up the scale. I had myself convinced it didn't bother me in the least, until the day that same smiling nurse started her measuring by putting the larger weight onto 150 and then moving to the little one.

I was shocked.

For someone who really had never thought about my weight, I was surprised by how much that growing number bothered me. Of course, the fact that I could look in the mirror while getting dressed and tell you exactly where those extra pounds were residing probably didn't help.

At my last prenatal visit before my daughter was born I weighed in at 165. Which may not sound like a lot, but that was almost 50% more than I had weighed at conception!

My beautiful baby girl was born and my weight shifted to some place in the back of my mind where I thought it would stay. Then I went in for my checkup one week after the birth. I stepped on the scale sure that the loss of the 7lb 4 oz my daughter had contributed, along with all the other fun stuff that was no longer in there, meant I had lost at least 10-15 lbs.

I stepped on the scale and of course she started by moving the larger piece up to 150. But then that little one just kept sliding. It stopped at 167!

WHAT?!?

I had given birth a week before and I weighed 2 lbs more! Are you kidding me??

I was not happy. I tried to make a joke of it and move on. Luckily I had a newborn in the house keeping me busy so I didn't think about my weight for a bit.

Two years later, between breastfeeding for 15 months and chasing around my little imp, I was down to around 130. I was happy there. I didn't feel like I had that 'last ten lbs to go'. I had curves that my little petite body had never possessed and was happy as a size 8.

I went in for my first appointment with my new OB because we were ready to try again. As usual they directed me to that scale first thing. I stepped up and wasn't too upset to realize I weighed in around 136.

After we were successful and I was tossing my cooking all over the place I was worried about that scale at my 8 week appointment. I climbed on and was relieved when I came in around 134.

At my 12 week appointment I felt like even with my zofran it had been a rough few weeks and was a little sad when I saw I now came in around 124. A number of the books and information I had been reading on twin pregnancy suggested putting on the bulk of your weigh in the first trimester and then adding slowly from there. I was a little dejected to realize I had done the opposite.

At my 16 week appointment I knew I had been keeping more food down and my appetite was increasing. Happily, I weighed in at 136. I've decided to use the 124 as my low weight so that putting on the 45 lbs suggested for a twin pregnancy (unlike the 30 I was supposed to put on with my singleton pregnancy) will put me around 170 instead of 180. Even if there are two people in there, that is a lot of weight on this little frame.

My concern at the moment is managing to put that much weight on. I'm trying to eat plenty of protein and, since my body doesn't process it like it use to my first pregnancy, not much in the way of sweets. Looking in the mirror isn't really helping this time as I seem to literally be 'all baby'.

My arms and legs have lost any baby fat from my first pregnancy as well as some muscle due to how sick I was my first trimester. Other than my enormous round, round belly I look trimmer than I have in years. My boobs are another story.

We'll see how I weigh in at my 20 week appointment. Something tells me I will hardly notice as my focus will be on that ultrasound we have scheduled that day and the hope that these two little imps will give us a peek at their genders!

Out with old cravings...and in with New Ones!

2010-06-24T14:35:00.000-07:00

When I was pregnant with my daughter I didn't really have too many cravings. There were certainly times where "Ooh! That sounds good!" would pop up, (including one afternoon where it occurred to me that red hots would be much better than hot sauce on my veggie burger, thus leaving my husband to conclude at the time that I was now officially weird) but as far as repetitive cravings went I only really had one.

Avacado Maki rolls.

They were my favorite snack/treat partly because they were yummy AND good for me and partly because they were cold. My daughter was born at the beginning of August after all!

So this time around I just assumed they would be at the top of my list and was prepared to reach for the chopsticks. But the two or three times my hubs has brought me maki, thinking to make my preggo day, I've felt bad because they didn't appeal in the least!

Near the end of my first trimester, out of necessity, I developed an obsession with mashed potatoes. Why? They are bland enough they don't upset my tummy and they stay in! Plus, most restaurants carry them and will happily bring a dish of this out within minutes if you rub your growing tummy and say you need them with your ice water. :-)

Now that we are just over 18 weeks I am so over the mashed potatoes. Apparently as of about four days ago. I went to order them at dinner and realized they didn't sound good at all. I was shocked!

Now what was I supposed to order to tide the beasts before my meal arrived?

Then my roving eyes zoomed in on another item on the menu.

Mozzarella sticks!

Sure they're breaded and fried, but most places you get them they aren't very greasy. They even come with marinara sauce which contains cooked tomatoes, which is a good source of lycopene.

And who doesn't love all that protein and calcium in the hot, gooey, cheesy middle?

I realized last night as I dove into my second veggie burger of the day that although the hot and gooey mozzarella sticks were my new favorite 'get something in my tummy' treat with all that protein, my favorite food is currently the veggie burger.

Not boca burger by the way. Um, eww. That is not a burger, it's just gross. Don't put veggie burger on your menu if it's a soy/boca burger because, hello..."There' no veggies in it!!!"

A veggie burger should have veggies and rice in it and be cooked up with cheese on top, a wheat bun and crisp lettuce, tomato and pickle. With mustard and ketchup of course!

If you can't handle that...don't put it on your menu, just be honest!

So, thank you to Hill Street Cafe, Fuddruckers, and Islands!

And boo on you to Johnny Rockets and their Boca burger and to Buffalo Wild Wings for switching from a Gardenburger to a yucky Boca. It was perfect, why did you change????

The OB Adventure

2010-06-16T15:25:00.000-07:00

When I found out I was pregnant with my daughter I went to my PCP, did a urine test and when it was confirmed, she gave me the name of an OB nearby that came highly recommended.

I called Dr. Travias' office and made an appointment. We liked him right away, he put us at ease and nine months later he helped deliver our daughter and kept us both safe and healthy in the process. The nurse at my one week checkup even said he could have been a plastic surgeon my scar was so beautiful from my c-section.

Boy were we spoiled!

Just over two years later, as some of you know, we decided to try for baby number two. As I've said I had now done my research and felt that I was more informed about the birthing process and wanted to do all I could to increase my chances for a successful VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean) and avoid if possible a second c-section.

On the recommendation of a friend, who had just gone through a successful VBAC with her second daughter, I met with Dr. Brock at Cedars Sinai in Beverly Hills. He has a great VBAC success rate and is not the kind of doctor to rush into or push a c-section simply because it's more convenient for him.

We liked him and decided he was the doctor for us and didn't really mind that he was in Beverly Hills and we were in Burbank because in the worst traffic it is only about 90 minutes and how fast could my labor go right?

Then we found out we were having twins and my stress level, even though I'm not supposed to let it, went up. Now I was looking at having a 90 minute drive to the hospital with the increased complication of a multiple birth. Let the paranoid 'what-ifs' begin!

I was assured that Cedars possesses one of the best NICUs in Southern California and that since we would be delivering there we wouldn't have to worry about the babies having to be transferred from another hospital to the fabulous NICU.

Then we realized we were going to have to move sooner than anticipated and oh my gosh. Bring on the stress, which I know, I know, I'm supposed to be avoiding like the plague and convincing this body of mine to ooze calm so that my babies have the best environment possible and stay in as long as they can.

So now I'm looking at the possibility of having to move just a bit further from the hospital to find the right apartment for us, and I know I shouldn't feel like I have to choose an apartment based on ONE trip to the hospital. But I'm also thinking what if I end up on bedrest, in the hospital? I would be up to 90 minutes away from my daughter and husband, and them from me. What if my babies, God forbid, come early and need to spend days, even weeks, in the NICU. I would be 90 minutes from my babies.

Welcome to my brain.

So after all my careful planning to orchestrate this wonderful second birth I am feeling like I need to start over. I looked into it on the advice of a friend and Huntington Hospital in Pasadena also has a Level III NICU, the best and most state-of-the-art, and they are a hell of a lot closer to Burbank or Glendale or wherever we find a new, and bigger apartment.

That same wonderful friend also recommended a great OB in Pasadena. But I can't help but feel weird trying to switch OBs in the middle like this. I have my 20 week ultrasound and check-up in around three weeks and I'm starting to think that once that is done I'm going to have to decide whether to jump through the hoops of finding the new OB, changing my insurance to a new group, and gearing my focus toward a different hospital...

Now that it's 'on paper', so to speak, it looks ridiculously simple. But when all this is jumbling around in my head with the housework I'm behind on, the purging that needs to happen so we make sure to not just pack up junk and take it with us again, and the packing of essentials that needs to happen, all so I can unpack it all and THEN start the full-on nesting process, while of course maintaining my calm and resting as much as I can in hopes of not getting put on bedrest, you can see how insane the mind of any preggo, even a vegetarian one, can become.

Deep breath. Here's hoping sharing this craziness, with whoever you are out there reading it, in some way helps ease the burden and help it all fall into place and make sense in my head.

Veggie Mama Out!

Grapes, Grapes, Glorious Grapes

2010-06-14T15:28:00.001-07:00

So as we live in the San Fernando Valley and it's mid-June already things are heating up. I feel large already but know that even if I look 7 months pregnant, it doesn't change the fact that I still have five months to get bigger!

In order to keep cool, as the heat is already getting to me and exhausting, I have a wonderful water bottle I keep close at hand and full of ice water. The more I read, the more I hear from other Moms that when you are having twins hydrating is twice as important!

I have also found myself drawn to the wonderful farmer's markets in the area as they have the freshest and healthiest produce for a growing vegetarian belly. The last two weekends I've found myself snacking my way through the Montrose Farmer's Market enjoying the fruity flavors of summer from the organic and pesticide free local growers: cantaloupes, nectarines, peaches, plums, raspberries, blueberries, blackberries and more!

I even found organic grapes, FINALLY, at my local Henry's Farmers Market grocer. I have the a/c going, a fan blowing on me and a nearly constant bowl of cold organic grapes fresh from the fridge in a bowl beside me.

Heaven!

I've read that what you eat can change the taste of the amniotic fluid, so I guess the babies are swimming in organic fruit punch these days. :-)

I am trying to make sure I eat plenty of protein, including Luna Protein bars for snacks, since there are two people growing in there. I have craved eggs and cheese a fair amount, finding myself ordering breakfast burritos at restaurants instead of simple scrambled eggs. Rocky Cola Cafe, in Montrose, CA makes a wonderful breakfast burrito, especially if you have them hold the meat and add in spinach and mushrooms. Delicious!

My favorite food remains potatoes right now though. They are bland enough they settle happily into even a slightly upset stomach and simple enough they don't upset my stomach. I've become an expert at sitting down at a restaurant and ordering a side of mashed potatoes with my glass of water, shamelessly patting my growing tummy in emphasis, so I can eat immediately when we go out. Meals just tend to go better that way. I'm remembering these things slowly.

One way this pregnancy is definitely differing from my last is sugars. As a rule we don't buy anything with high fructose corn syrup and avoid refined sugar in general. But on the rare occasion I 'treat' myself with a doughnut or ice cream out, I find myself reeling from the sugar. My body simply can't handle it. When I was pregnant with my daughter, I had it down that as long as I ate some good protein I could chase it with something sweet and sinful. Not the case with these two. At least I can hope this means they won't suffer from sweet tooths.

By the time I finish this pregnancy, incidentally my last by choice, I will feel I have it all down just in time to be done. LOL

Oh My! Where to begin...

2010-06-14T14:58:00.000-07:00

So here I am 17 weeks pregnant and still a vegetarian. No meat cravings as yet this pregnancy, but plenty of surprises.

Just to bring you up to date:

You may have noticed that around 5 weeks pregnant I stopped writing. This is because at 5 weeks I started puking. I was so sick it was all I could do to function and try and keep ANY calories in me.

Then we went in for our 8 week appointment with my new OB and had our first ultrasound. For those of you that have not had this fun early ultrasound the technician takes what look like a large dildo with a cord, it even has a latex cover that looks a great deal like a condom, and 'places' it up and in. Such a treat.

So I'm laying back, thinking of England, and the tv on the wall in front of me (which is connected to her little monitor on the ultrasound machine that I can't see) suddenly is filled with what looks like a large black balloon. In this balloon is a small skeleton creature that looks like an alien.

There was my baby. I noticed another small 'something' near the top of the balloon, but assumed naively I was most likely looking at the placenta.

Then I hear those magic words, "Oh! There's two."

To which I replied, "Two what?"

You guessed it. My husband and my sister who were right next to me looked as shocked as I felt.

Twins!?!

She pointed out that in addition to my alien, the small bat-like creature cuddled up at the top of my uterus was baby b.

I remember sitting at the desk in my doctor's office waiting to see him after the ultrasound was done and just being speechless. He came in, said hello, and sat down to begin looking over the results.

Much like I had, he stopped, looked up at me, looked down again. Re-read the results and looked at me again mouth slightly agape.

I just looked at him for a second and then said, "Yeah."

Once his shock passed, mine took a bit longer, he switched the usual 8 week talk to a twin preggo talk. Although my due date was calculated at November 23rd, he said full term for twins is 38 weeks. So my 'real' due date is now November 9th. You will get bigger sooner, you will be more tired, you 'could' end up on bed rest from August on.

All of which I nodded and filed away to process later as I was experiencing shock at the time and unable to process much.

We then headed across the hall for the joy of a pelvic exam and the siphoning of my blood for testing. Somewhere in the middle of this process I remember feeling all the blood drain from my face as I broke out in a sweat and the room moved on its own. I think this is when the 'two' part sank in.

Once I laid down and had a snack and some water, my brain turned back on and I started processing. Two babies...two carseats...two cribs...so much for not having to do much shopping for my second pregnancy!

We went in at 12 weeks for our BUN study ultrasound where they look at your baby, or in my case babies, and search for any indication of genetic abnormalities. I was still tossing my cookies, but, thanks to Tums and a wonderful Zofran prescription, not as much.

Instead of an alien and a bat, the last four weeks my body had created two little people with noses and personality. We were amazed!

Baby A spent the entire time the technician was trying to get a profile shot, to gauge for downs syndrome, dancing like a wild monkey. Once she got the picture she needed she moved on to Baby B. This was my calm baby, just chilling out. Despite the feet of Baby A trying to bounce off Baby B's head. :-)

However, I learned quickly that calm did not guarantee cooperation. Each time the technician got ready to snap the same profile picture of Baby B, my ornery baby would reach up and touch his/her nose. The technician has to have a profile picture that includes the nose and the back of the neck. So each time she almost had that shot, little Baby B would go 'nana-nana-boo-boo' and she'd have to try again. It probably took as long to take my 'calm' baby's picture as my crazy dancing monkey.

Each baby was measured at around 5 cm in length from head to rump. They were officially little people with the cutest hands, feet and noses I'd seen in three years!

Now I am finally not throwing up. It's been a week since I last hurled. Yeah!

We will go in for an ultrasound in about three weeks and, hopefully, find out the gender of our two little miracles. We still don't know if they are identical or not.

I can't help it, I am hoping for one of each. My husband is hoping for at least one boy or he will be horribly outnumbered, and my sister and mother have decided I'm having two boys. My father's isn't particular at all, his only request is two healthy babies to play with and shower with love!

We shall see who, beyond my father, gets what they want...

Let the Cravings Begin

2010-03-25T09:48:00.000-07:00

When I was pregnant with my daughter I had some strange cravings. I didn't grow up a vegetarian so my body has associated certain foods with certain needs all my life. Being pregnant was my opportunity to do some reprogramming.

In the first trimester I was in need of iron-rich food often. Which meant that I lost count of how many times I craved steak. Not just any steak. I was drooling at the idea of a steak so rare it was purple.

Now as a vegetarian, I clearly wasn't going to eat a steak. I would have been horribly sick after so long without meat, not to mention how gross I would feel knowing I had actually eaten an animal.

I started paying closer attention to what my body was saying. When I craved a steak, I started looking for something high in iron to eat. What I found curbed the cravings was avacado maki. A great snack, it contains healthy fats, iron, Vitamin E and much more. By the time the end of my second trimester rolled around, I didn't crave meat anymore. When I needed a boost, I craved avacado maki!

Two other cravings stand out from my first pregnancy: salsa and one special veggie burger. My salsa craving was fun because I ate about three large jars of salsa in three days. I remember giving up on the bowl and just digging my hand, with a chip of course, down into the bottom of the jar. It was SO good.

The veggie burger was the point at which my husband turned to me and said, "Ok. Now you're officially weird." I didn't think it was all that odd, he liked hot sauce on his veggie burger, why shouldn't I put red hots on mine? They melted into the burger and gave it this great sweet and spicy flavor. Mmm. So good!

So here we go again and I get to see what cravings will emerge this time around. So far no biggies. Although, there is the occasional Craving ADD.

"Oh, you know what sounds so good? Chocolate cake. Oh, and you know what else, homemade mac n cheese. Oh! And some marinated artichokes. Yum!"

Of course, not all at the same time. Okay, maybe at the same time. Who knows?

Last night I was curled up with my daughter, watching one of her favorite DVDs, Garfield Holiday Celebrations. So I'm not even hungry, we've eaten dinner and then the thanksgiving episode is on. Grandma says, "and the piece de resistance, pumpkin pie!"

And ALL I wanted was a slice of pumpkin pie with whipped cream. Obsessively all I wanted. I got up and called my husband and mentioned that a slice of pumpkin pie really sounded good, about five times during our four minutes conversation.

When Hubbie got home with the milk and cheesesticks my daughter requested, he also pulled out a Henry's pumpkin pie and the healthy version of cool whip (no high fructose, no artificial anything. Truwhip?) which I didn't know existed. I love that man.

So after our daughter was in bed, my husband settled in with his late dinner and I curled up on the couch with a slice of pumpkin pie.

Heaven.

Sleep Glorious Sleep

2010-03-20T17:29:00.000-07:00

So all parents know that once your baby arrives you are not going to get much sleep. Everyone (friends, doctors, strangers) tells you to sleep now before the baby arrives. They don't mention that once your baby is big enough for you to feel moving around inside you, sleeping is already a challenge.

The part I forgot about was sleep issues at the very beginning.

I am now about 4 weeks or so, according to the doctor's preference of counting from the first day of your last period, and I am already having sleep issues.

I find myself nearly falling asleep at the table in restaurants half-way through the meal and then tossing and turning throughout the night.

What's that all about?

My morning sickness hasn't arrived, except for being a bit tired (and well, no period), so I shouldn't really feel all that pregnant yet. Right?

Everything was so new my first pregnancy, I didn't know what to expect and everything scared me. I didn't want to do too much because I was afraid of doing anything to hurt my baby or hurt my changing body.

Due to this I did more damage than good by not giving my body the regular exercise and daily challenges these bodies of our need, especially during pregnancy. I am determined to not make that same mistake again.

Apparently a little too determined.

I was so focused on making sure to not let myself off the hook from day one that I was trying to be Super Woman yesterday and spent much of the day walking to the places I needed to go instead of driving. Which sounds great except that my daughter is just over 2 1/2 and is around 30 lbs. A healthy weight, no doubt, but she also gets tired faster than I do and wants to 'snuggle'. Which means I carried her more yesterday in Super Mom mode than I probably have in the last month.

Not a great choice. Today my back is not happy with me. Especially my lower back b/c subconscious or not, I am not using my stomach muscles as much and my back is forced to compensate.

Note to self, take it easy on yourself. And remember bringing the stroller isn't a hassle, not really.

Off We Go!

2010-03-19T18:56:00.000-07:00

We did it! We're pregnant!

Now what?

We have been so focused on 'getting pregnant' that, now that we are, it doesn't seem like such a big deal. Don't get me wrong we are definitely excited, but we put so much pressure on ourselves to get pregnant that now that we are there we just get to be.

We tried for three months. Our third and successful try, was the one where we finally threw out the stress book and said, "Let's just let it happen." We still paid attention to the days I was ovulating, but unlike the first two months there was no "Are we or aren't we?" time afterward.

In fact I was so focused on our next opportunity to try and make a baby that I almost didn't notice when my period didn't show up.

Now I am two days late.

I grabbed a pregnancy test in the middle of my grocery shopping this morning and one short trip to the bathroom later, according to my digital test, I'm "pregnant".

Now that we're there I can relax and just enjoy it.

I went looking online for information on where I'm at in my brand new pregnancy and found myself yet again on Parents.com perusing their wealth of information.

I even found a guide on "What to eat your first trimester!"

I am using that as my guide for this first trimester to make sure I get, and baby gets, just what is needed! The great thing is that it was pretty easy to break it down into something that works for a vegetarian.

I intend to buy as much of the following suggestions as possible in the healthiest (natural or organic) form possible. The fruits and vegetables when possible. The Dairy, especially milk, yogurt and cottage cheese, for certain will be purchased organic. Cheese can be a challenge to find in organic form. I will choose my battles.

I will not be filling my vegetarian diet with soy as excessive amounts have been linked to early development in girls and underdevelopment in boys. I will substitute almond milk on occasion for cow's milk and almond cheese for cow's milk cheese.

Fruit: 3-4 servings a day

Examples of Servings:

1 citrus (orange, etc.) (The fruit is better than the juice b/c it has more fiber)
3/4 cup 100% fruit juice (orange, apple, grape, etc.)
1/2 banana
1 medium sized (apple, orange, pear, etc.)
1/2 cup chopped (halved grapes),
1/2 cup cooked or canned fruit (in natural juices - pineapple, etc.) (avoid fruit in syrup)
1/4 cup dried fruit (apricots, raisins, figs, cranberries, cherries, etc.)

Vegetables: 3-5 servings a day (Eat a rainbow!)

Examples of Servings:

Dark Green (broccoli, kale, spinach, etc.)
Orange (carrots, sweet potatoes, pumpkin, winter squash, etc.)
Yellow (corn, yellow pepper, etc.)
Red (tomatoes, red pepper, etc.)
Purple (purple cabbage, eggplant, etc.)
1/2 cup chopped, cooked or raw per serving
1 cup leafy (spinach, lettuce, etc.) per serving

Dairy: 3 servings a day

Examples of Servings:

Low Fat Milk, Low Fat Yogurt, Low Fat Cottage Cheese - 1 cup per serving
Part Skim Cheese (mozzarella, cheddar, etc.) - 1 1/2 ounces per serving

Protein: 2-3 servings a day

Examples of Servings:

Beans (pinto, kidney, black, garbanzo, etc.) - 1 cup cooked per servings
Lentils, split peas - 1 cup cooked per serving
Nuts and Seeds (unsalted roasted almonds, etc.) - 1/4 cup (1 oz.) per serving
Peanut Butter - 2 Tablespoons per serving
Eggs - 2 eggs per serving

Whole Grains: 3-6 servings a day

Examples of Servings:

Whole grain bread - 1 slice per serving
Cereal, Crackers - 1 cup (1 oz.) per serving
Pasta (whole wheat or brown rice pasta), Rice (brown not white)- 1/2 cup per serving
Cooked Cereal (oatmeal, etc.) - 1/2 cup per serving

So this is going to be my guideline for what to eat each day to make sure that the microscopic person in my tummy gets what he or she needs and leaves enough for me to have too.

Now I'm hungry!

Away we go!

Before the Pregnancy

2010-02-26T11:28:00.000-08:00

When we discovered we were pregnant with our daughter we were surprised, but thrilled once the initial shock wore off. We weren't officially trying for a baby, but were looking forward to starting our family.

Now our little miracle is two and a half years old and we've decided we're ready to start trying for baby number two. Sounds simple right?

I got an IUD (Mirena) at my six week checkup after our daughter was born, because we knew we weren't ready for more than one baby any time soon and it was the best choice for us. Then our daughter turned one year old and we started thinking we were ready for another baby. Around that time we moved 3,000 miles, from the east coast to the west coast and my husband started working as a contractor so insurance became our full responsibility. Since insurance that includes maternity coverage is three times as much as basic insurance we decided to wait a little longer.

Time went by, our daughter turned two years old and we realized we were definitely ready to start trying for another baby. My husband went about finding a full time job with insurance so we would have maternity coverage and once that was done it was my turn.

I had to find the doctor I wanted and then figure out which insurance he or she accepted. Sounded simple enough, but given that I had a c-section with my first pregnancy I had done my research this time and in a day and age where the c-section rate is something like 50% for some OBs I wanted to find a doctor with a very low c-section rate.

I finally found one recommended by a friend who just had a successful VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) and made an appointment. It took 5 weeks before I could get in to see him and when I finally did I liked the doctor and after a great discussion he went ahead and removed the IUD for us.

Now we were 'officially' trying. If I'd only known what a can of worms that would be.

I got the IUD out on December 11th. I got a brutal period (my first real period in three years since I hardly had one with the IUD in place) on December 13th that came with a migraine that left me tossing my cookies like a pregnant woman that night. Luckily, my chiropractor was able to adjust my neck and relieve the pressure for me.

I got another period on December 19th. I'm assuming this was my actual period and the previous was my body cleaning out my uterus now that there was nothing blocking it from doing so.

January rolled around and we 'celebrated' the new year in fabulous baby making fashion. A few days later I started to feel strange. I had a couple hormonal hot flashes, which I hadn't had with my daughter. Then I started feeling just exhausted like I had my first pregnancy. Within a week I was convinced I was pregnant. In addition to these symptoms I also turned green at the smell of certain things. It didn't feel like the last time, but my daughter told me there was a baby in my tummy. We have discussed a sibling with her since she was a year and a half to warm her up to the idea.

Then two days before my period was supposed to come, or not come, it just stopped. I woke up and there was no nausea, I wasn't tired. I just felt like me again. I asked my daughter if there was a baby in my tummy and she said no. I believe that children are more in tune with these things and so I valued her opinion in this.

The next morning my period came. I was trying not to be heartbroken, but I was still sad. I would love to have a little boy and my daughter told me it was a baby brother. Which I found very interesting because all she wanted was a sister.

I called my husband and told him. He said he was a little disappointed too, but said not to worry there was always next month. He was very supportive. As the afternoon went on I felt a little more sad and I sent my husband a message online that said,

"Is it terrible that I feel like such a drama queen that I want you to rush home with a pint of ben & jerry's ice cream just so you can hold me and I can cry and eat ice cream?"

He didn't drop everything and rush home, but he did promise we could put on a movie and snuggle and I could cry all I wanted. He's so great. We put our daughter to bed and while I put in the movie he went to the freezer and brought out a treat. My favorite flavor of Ben & Jerry's that he's grabbed on his way home.

I was secretly worried that I had lost my boy and was trying not to feel heartbroken when my husband said the most amazing thing. He said that if it was my boy he just went back to heaven to wait until it was time for him to come to us again. It was exactly what I needed to hear right then. That I hadn't lost my little boy, but that I would just have to wait a little bit longer to meet him in person.

So here we are, it's a month later and I'm still trying to get in the habit of taking those prenatals to build up my folic acid and have all the good stuff in my body that a new little person will need from the start.